Want to Quit Porn: Depressed
I really want to quit watching porn. Like many of the messages I've read on here, there seems to be a similar pattern. The pornography gets more and more fetish or hardcore, the more you watch, and this in turn creates severe psychological stress.
I have been addicted to porn for about 5 years. I don't watch it everyday, I don't think about it all the time, but I would use porn to masturbate about 90% of the time.
I can relate to the concerns men have over their sexuality as I have become bored with typical straight porn, and regularly watch transgender and even gay porn. This is very distressing to me, as I know 100% I am straight. I am able to realise it is just fantasy and that there is a distinct difference between that and reality, but it still raises questions in my mind. In reality men do nothing for me sexually, and neither do transexuals.
I more worry about the idea that porn is poisoning my idea of sex in reality, that it won't be enough for me anymore, that porn will start to dominate my life more and more.
I need help in quitting, I've tried cold turkey, didn't work. I'm thinking of filtering my computer so I cannot view any pornographic sites.
Any suggestions/advice is hugely appreciated.
Porn Game Over is Jason's self-help plan for quitting the habit. Click here for a fresh approach to internet pornography addiction...
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thats common
welcome man, yeah i just read on another post that fantasy isnt a repressed wish and i think that says it all about you watching gay porn. ive watched it too and got turned on i admit but i dont fancy men in the slightest. that kind of porn is just interesting cos its different and feels taboo.
im with you that screwing with our idea of sex is more of a worry, i think this can happen. its like we cant get turned on without some porn and that isnt right. you mean you masturbate without porn 10% of the time? can you up that percentage a bit so porn isnt so connected with masturbating? theres discussion on here about masturbation the rights and wrongs etc but i dont think theres anything wrong at all. def helped me to train myself not to need porn. good luck man.
I Understand.
I understand where you're coming from. I too have had difficulty with more extreme forms of porn as I became more and more jaded.
Don't let the fact that it is homosexual porn you watch overwhelm you. It is simply porn. You are addicted to pornography, Nothing more.
As for sexuality, does it really matter? You're bothered by a label that other people would put upon you. Attraction to the same sex is the same as being attracted to blondes or big breasts. If you don't want to sleep with a guy then nobody will force you.
Depression comes from fear. Fear of what may come and the belief that you are unable to control it. Your fear comes from guilt over your actions and a belief in your own weakness.
Fear is the most useless emotion. The only purpose it serves is to hold us back. To keep us from doing what we wish. It is quite frankly useless.
Guilt is the second most useless emotion. The only purpose it serves is to remind us of the mistakes we have made in the past. Once you have learned from your mistake, Guilt serves absolutely no purpose. Acknowledge responsibility, learn your lesson, move forward.
Your idea of filtering your computer is a good idea. But it is not a permanent solution. You must find the source of the addiction inside yourself and destroy it. Otherwise it will continue to rule your life. I believe you are strong enough to do this.
If you commit yourself to it.
interesting point
"You must find the source of the addiction inside yourself and destroy it."
Hi qtrave. You raise an interesting point here. However in my case I feel that this may be the hardest question of them all. Like most men I started looking at porn in my teen years, finding a discarded magazine and stashing it away somewhere for discreet viewing. I think the reasons I had for looking at it then are not the reasons I have now. In the beginning it was something thrilling; a whole world was opened up before me, but as a young man with no sexual experience it just seemed exciting and new. I never for a moment questioned whether it was wrong to look at it, it just seemed to hold promise for the what the future would bring. These days the thrill has worn thin. There's a rush of excitement in anticipation of what images will come up when I first logon to a site or enter a search term, but that soon disipates and it becomes a slog so to speak, an unwinnable race where the goal is the ultimate image that totally satisfies an urge. Which as we all know is impossible! These days porn is just a bore, something to pass the time. Porn has become an unwanted hobby. Where others play in bands, write stories, paint landscapes, read books, play sports, do gardening, sew, build stuff, do yoga: I watch porn. So to get back to your point, identifying the source of the addiction. You're right of course; in order to stop doing something people need to understand why they do it in the first place. The trouble is a lot of people have forgotten. The only way we can rectify this is to be honest with ourselves and this forum is a great way to put down our thoughts and feelings, inspire and help each other and thus confront the problem. I look forward to reading more of your posts.
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