The Temptation

Submitted by ak on Sat, 24/09/2011 - 05:01

ak's picture

Thought This will be a Good Idea. It's been 2 Weeks since I've watched any Porn, the Internet Connection at Home was disabled and I am not One to use the Work Laptop to Access porn.

My Home Connection was renewed Last Night and I know now that Temptation is Around the Corner, the Mind is starting to Think Back in the "Porn-Zone" again by throwing up statements like, "Jus 10 Mins" "Just 1 Video" "Just A Glance" "Just That One Site" and So On and So Forth.

It's been a Long Time since I stayed away from Porn for 2 Weeks and I've set Myself a Month's Target...I know a Cold-Turkey Approach like This will not help, because Sooner or Later the Bottle-Up feelings will Explode and a Bomb-Session could be on the Anvil, so I am asking Myself,
1.) Will Induglence be any Different This Time than last??..
2.) Will the Guilt be Any Lesser?...
3.) Is the Mind/Body so Weak that I can't resist at all
4.) What Else can I do in place of porn?
5.) Is running away from porn the Only Solution??...

I am not seeking answers to the above, but just trying to Create an Approach a bit Differently this Time. The tempation is too strong I can feel it, but this is time for Me to Face it Head-On and Learn from all the Old Experiences. Any Comments/Suggestions/Feedback Welcome.
Thanks.

if you dont mind me asking, are you single or in a relationship?

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Yes Very much Anon11...Single so far.

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Hi AK,

You have successfully not looked at porn for 2 weeks. Now you're worried that you'll go straight back on when you have your internet connection back, this is despite being able to resist using your work laptop.

So here's the obvious question....why can't you continue with this approach? I mean, you could continue without internet for a while, using the work laptop for anything you really need (e.g. shopping, email etc.) until you feel more in control. What is the reason to go back to situation where you used to use porn?

You must realise from this experience that you do in fact have control over your urges; something is stopping you from using your work laptop. That's not a physical barrier, it's not someone else, that's your willing decision not to do it. That's you in control.

This is interesting because it shows how the strongest driver with porn problems is the habit, the routine. If you change the routine, the environment, the cravings can diminish or disappear entirely. It's the old reminders that cause us to slip again. That's why you've been able to avoid porn for 2 weeks, not because you didn't have the means but because your cravings subsided because the reminders weren't there.

A little bit of analysis here can really help you to understand your habit and make some small adjustments to help you change.

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Hi Nathan,

Yes, a Lot of substance indeed in what You've just posted. I suppose it's just the "Old -Habit" or the "Temptation" at Play, which Triggers the Urges to come back on again, knowing that the Internet connection is restored.

As a Matter of Fact, let Me be Honest in saying that I did spend a while Last Evening in Glancing at a Few Videos/Pics but Later Realized where I was heading and Figured out also that if I were to continue, then I will be creating an Inlet for the Porn-Obsession to set in again.

You're right it's not a Physical Barrier but a Mental One, guess I don't want to be caught Using My Work Laptop but I know that a Home P.C. is more Comfortable One, it's Mine so I can do what eve I want, maybe that's the Mindset when indulging in Acting Out, but it's not the Case when using My Work system.

I am going to take a Lot from Your Post and put into Practice by changing what's Around Me, right Now I know that the Urge is not there but Sooner or Later This Week, Maybe Friday Evening or so it might come back, and that wprries Me, so may be I need to change that around.

Interestingly I am pretty aware of all the Situations that Trigger the Old Habit/Urge, but the Wilingness to let Go of it is not there and so end uo. But Thanks Anyway!!...will work on what You have suggested. Cheers!!!

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Hi AK,

Just a quick one from me. Interesting that in your closing paragraph you say "the willingness to let go of it is not there" when in fact you have already proven to yourself that it is there. This was the point of my prior post.

Think about the two weeks when you didn't look at porn. It's not that you didn't have the means, you did. At any point you could have looked at porn but something stopped you. Something in you drew a line at using the work laptop. Now what's that? That's your will. It's there, AK, but from the sound of your posts, your negative self-talk is trying to convince you otherwise.

I actually have a strong objective to the nicotine-replacement industry and their hijacking of the word 'willpower'. They have manipulated our perception of the word so we imagine an epic struggle, so fierce that we can't possibly do it alone - and that's where they come in. But in reality, willpower is just your decision to make a change, and from your visits to this site it seems that part is taken care of. You have also discovered a method which minimises your triggers. So there is really nothing standing in your way except for you talking yourself out of it.

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Hi Nathan,

I would be Lying if I didn't admit that My Negative Self-Talk is holding Me back and so it is True. Something that is affecting other areas of My Life as well....and You're not the First One to Point out that, others too have Pointed it out to Me.

Your Analysis of the Nicotine-Replacement industry is so True, though I've never smoked in My Life and don't intend to Ever, but I guess that is how Corporations Make Money by preying on People rather consumer's Habits/Lifestyles and turning Them into desiring Their Products through clever Marketing Gimmicks.

At the end of it People, those addicted/obsessed with Substances etc need to have an Inner desire/objective to change I suppose and once that is There all Forces will work to Help Out, but it's the Will Power that is Important, the Most Important Element.

Perhaps, it's This Negative Self-Talk and Attitude that is also holding Me back from Experiencing Real Fuller Relationships, I've never had a GirlFriend so far nor Dated Anyone TBH....so Maybe it's time to change all of that.

I must learn from Those 2 Weeks of Abstinence, I would go to Your initial reply, Nathan, and figure out what needs to be changed around Me to ensure that I can go on Longer and there by move away from porn, because TBH....Right now I'm just attempting to Run Away from Porn, like being Scared, but the focus in not there on building up other areas through other more Fruitful activities.

Thanks once again for all Your Thoughts.

AK.

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The problem with asking yourself questions is many people lie to themselves. As addicts, we are some of the worst for self delusion and denial. The most difficult part of overcoming an addiction is complete, brutal, honesty.

1.) Will Indulgence be any Different This Time than last??..

No. If you truly believe yourself to have a problem, then no it will not. This is more delusion. Every time you "indulge" you simply fall into the same trap that you set for yourself. When you tell yourself that you can just watch a little, it's the Same Song with a Different Verse.

2.) Will the Guilt be Any Lesser?...

Guilt only holds us back. What's done is done. Take responsibility and learn from your past mistakes. Don't cry over your burning house, put out the flames.

3.) Is the Mind/Body so Weak that I can't resist at all

As long as you believe yourself to be weak you will remain weak. You cannot defeat this enemy unless you know in your mind and feel in your heart that you will win. Sounds like a bunch of self actualization crap right? Well you're only beaten when you stop getting back up. And I don't mean any half-assed "I'll quit tomorrow" lies. True Honest Fighting. Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? YES.

4.) What Else can I do in place of porn?

Anything. Quite Literally Anything. It's amazing when you realize just how much time you waste sitting on your computer on porn. However, if you are looking for help finding something to do that will replace your desire for porn? Do something out in public. Something competitive preferably. First, when you are in public it is almost impossible to feed your addiction. And competition will get you used to winning. Always go for the win.

5.) Is running away from porn the Only Solution??...

Do NOT run away from your problem. Attack it head on. You are not running away you are fighting back. Yes you WILL have to give up porn. It must be done. But you're not giving up anything important and you will gain more than you realize.

Also, Cold Turkey is the only way you will ever truly be free. As for bottled up feelings, you can 'take matters into your own hands' so to speak to relieve pressure. But do NOT use porn. You have an imagination.

http://www.quitpornaddiction.com/30-day-war

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