Asha Anderson wrote an extremely frank account of her experiences with a porn addicted partner in the politics magazine Red Pepper.

At night he would switch it on again before joining me in bed. The unpalatable truth was he needed virtual hardcore stimulation before he did it with me.

I found myself wondering whether he preferred the porno plastic lip and tit dolls to me. Was I not enough? A thought that I’d never had before.

I found myself comparing my beauty to theirs, but luckily it hadn’t affected my self-esteem or so I thought. There was an increasing insecurity about my sexuality…having been a late starter was I a non-starter?

Soon after I confronted him and expecting remorse, apologies, a sensitive response, I got annoyed denial. After telling him I had evidence, I got sarcasm ‘Well haven’t I seen a website with your name on it?’, ‘It’s for ‘stress release’ and ‘All men do it.’ But he did promise to stop. Only he didn’t.

Asha’s whole article highlights a number of issues faced by partners of internet sex addicts. Especially poignant are the descriptions of insecurity, self-doubt and the all-too-common partner’s response of indignation and denial. She ends the piece with her ongoing dilemma: try to ignore and live with it, fight it or ultimately… walk away from him. These options face increasing numbers of partners, and they are desperately painful choices indeed.

Red Pepper features some great articles about porn, written from diverse and thought-provoking perspectives. I certainly recommend a visit.