Porn addiction - what would Kinsey say?
Alfred Kinsey famously warned us of the hazards of sexual repression. "If it feels good, do it!", "each to his own taste"... his mantras for health have been widely adopted ever since. In the modern era of endless internet porn, does repression still contribute to porn addiction? Or as our appetite for pornographic material expands, has Kinsey's advocation of sexual freedom become counter-productive?
In this Psychology Today article, Marnia Robinson suggests that repression still presents significant risks:
Excitement and risk intensify the wiring (learning) process in the brain because they increase dopamine and adrenaline. (So does novelty.)
A person whose initial sexual experiences have an illicit or dicey ("I may burn in hell for this") aura, may therefore be at risk for seeking out future shocking, unsafe, and highly novel activities in connection with sexual expression, long after that person sheds any religious conditioning. Even guilt itself can become pleasurable. Why? Simply because a primitive part of the brain once put 2 (arousal) + 2 (risk or "Thou shalt not!") together-without conscious input—and wired itself accordingly.
Kinsey took issue with strict and stifling attitudes towards sex. His own devoutly religious upbringing hadn't done him any favours when it came to managing his sexual urges. Young people struggling with internet porn feel trapped in the search for increasingly extreme sexual stimulation, just like Kinsey. But they are far less likely to have endured such a restrictive upbringing.
Robinson considers a further theory:
The late psychiatrist and addiction expert Gerald G. May concluded that his profession took a wrong turn in the last century when it codified the belief that repression is our primary danger. May was no fan of repression. However, he felt that addiction was far more debilitating, given the way the brain works. As he put it, "addiction limits the freedom of human desire." And without that freedom, a person cannot effectively address challenges—including overcoming repression.
In conclusion, Robinson suggests that Kinsey remains vindicated in his condemnation of sexual repression. In many respects, he was spot on. But for some of us, learning to skirt intense and addictive sexual stimuli may be more vital to sustained well-being than unfettered sexual expression.
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8 comments
Wilhelm Reich was a student &
Wilhelm Reich was a student & member of Sigmund Freud's inner circle of analysts, he eventually broke away from Freud's theories in order to develop his own radical ideas concerning the nature of human sexuality and the role played by pure energy. What Freud had called the Libido Reich came to call Oregon (the cosmic life force energy). Reich's entire theories about sexuality & mental healthiness are concerned with the dreadfully negative effect of when our life force energy is dammed up or blocked or held back. Reich said that when this energy is allowed to flow naturally it gives arise to uninhibited emotional expression (all emotions are allowed out) however he also said that when feelings & energy is blocked i.e. repressed, swallowed down, blocked,etc that this leads to a kind of armoring developing within the body itself. Sadly, this armoring can become a double edged sword because whilst it protects us from external threat or shields us from hurt it also blocks us from expressing our true emotions.
**My training some years ago was as a body orientated therapist following a training in post Reichian psychotherapy. This training focused are great deal on body types and on body armoring & the how this affects both our personality style & issues around sexuality.
**I feel that online porn & explicit imagery seems to lead in the direction of increasingly leave us with a greater sense of disconnection from our own healthy sexuality. A person who is well connected & in touch with their sexual energy is grounded enough not to feel the need for porn, a healthy sexual life doesn't require or depend upon porn.
In an era of HIV aids and a
In an era of HIV aids and a wide number of STD's its all too easy to see how many of us have become fearful of sex. Not only does the fear of STD's drive peoples attitudes & opinions with regard to sex & sexuality. Our sexual behaviors are highly influenced from a very early age from the family we grow up within i.e. family values or lack of. From parents or care givers. We are also influenced by the local culture of school, church or religion and finally by the moral nature of the wider society itself. What goes for accepted behavior in one society is seen as a taboo in another.
What is seen as desirable attributes in a male or female in one society is seen as a negative in another & so on. We now live in an age were there are multiple fears & anxieties around sex & sexuality and these factors all contribute to the turning towards the use of porn, these fears from HIV or STD's only encourage porn usage. After all who ever caught AIDS from viewing images of naked men or women. I'm not suggesting for a moment that these fears are the ONLY factor in people using porn but I am suggesting such fears contribute to the use of porn & thus people who are struggling with porn obsessions.
"A person whose initial
"A person whose initial sexual experiences have an illicit or dicey (”I may burn in hell for this”) aura, may therefore be at risk for seeking out future shocking, unsafe, and highly novel activities in connection with sexual expression, long after that person sheds any religious conditioning."
While I totally agree that an ultra-conservative, religious upbringing could make people feel that their first sexual experiences are "illicit or dicey," the same could be said about first experiences that are sexual abuse. My husband didn't grow up in a religious environment at all, but he was sexually abused at age 9. And so much of the research on sex addiction shows that childhood sexual abuse is a very common thread--that the majority of sex addicts were sexually abused. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that, though sexual abuse is horrific, the body produces its natural arousal response. And that creates shame--the sexual abuse survivor struggles with "Well, if I didn't want this to happen, then why did I feel aroused?" and blames him or herself for the abuse. Which then creates a the 2 (arousal) + 2 (risk) template.
Psychological research over
Psychological research over the last seven decades shows. Its a well known & recognized & well documented fact that those who were abused frequently go on to become abusers themselves.
**Depends what you mean by dicey? doesn't all sexual interaction or sexual experience (sex) include a degree of the taboo or a feeling of the forbidden, an element of excitement. Isn't that just a normal part of sex & sexuality i.e. the rush of sexual feelings & arousal.
Porn doesn't come from
Porn doesn't come from nowhere!!, it exists because someone creates it, they create it motived by the sole desire to make money. Sadly, the creation of porn is fundamentally based on exploitation which is something that few people who make porn or consume porn wish to talk about or even acknowledge. The fact that porn involves exploitation at every turn in its creation is a question of morality of ethics, of human values,etc.
The pornographer or porn company consciously set out to make adult content of an explicit nature, they constantly create such content because it creates & drives massive profits (even in a global depression). The adult industry models ( female or male) have to be degraded or allow their humanity to be debased in order to create porn images or movies. And finally the end user (consumer) debases themselves too in the process of using or viewing the porn itself (well this is my own belief). With pornography moral conscience goes out of the window it would seem.
The same loss, or lack of
The same loss, or lack of moral conscience is what also allows the global arms industry to make billions of dollars out of making weapons. Weapons that are used to kill people, and mostly they kill totally innocent people, men, women & children & elderly people. People caught in the middle of waring factions. Only the arms industry is worse than the global porn industry in terms of lack of moral conscience, we seem to be living through times were having a moral conscience is a rarity?
Thanks for passing along the
Thanks for passing along the article. I generally agree that a moralistic view of sex is very unhealthy. To teach mere repression is one of the greatest errors of the church in instructing about sexuality.
Paul said it this way: "Why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, 'Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!'? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires." (Colossians 2:20-23)
I love what many churches have been doing recently teaching young people through books like the Song of Solomon, a passionate song in the Bible about the beauty of sexuality - http://www.marshillchurch.org/media/the-peasant-princess/let-him-kiss-me
As a Christian I still ardently believe sex is reserved for marriage, and as such I believe one of the greatest services the church can provide is wise coaching about preparation for marriage, how to become a loving spouse. Sexuality should never be hush-hush matter in the church.
Sadly, we live in a world and
Sadly, we live in a world and in an era that is dominated with pornography. An era unlike any other in this respect, given the wider spread access to the Internet. Also sadly pornography creates its own effects (waves that ripple out) and these effects distort in a negative way what sex is for. I think many of us are highly susceptible to forgetting what real sex is all about because we are constantly bombarded with sexualized imagery. We are in danger of forgetting that good sex is an expression of love for another person, that sex brings us closer because sex is about incredible intimacy, its a form of bonding that helps hold relationships together.
Sex without love, sex with the intimacy removed is thus reduced to an empty mechanical process, there is no bonding. Sex with the love & intimacy removed is precisely what porn really is. Porn creates, or attempts to create the illusion of sex but it always fails because it is always fake, the actors & actresses have no real love for each other. In fact they probably only met 15 minutes before making a film together. Porn is always trying to create the illusion of real sex but at best it can only create a fantasy at best, & fantasies are ethereal anyway bye there nature. However, real sex with a loving partner is not ethereal.
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