Porn and the instant pleasure delusion - RH's story

So many guys find themselves turning to porn as some form of escape. In this contribution, RH reflects upon his porn habit motivation, and the impact it started to have on his general outlook. I'd say that he hits the nail on the head.

"I've used internet porn addiction as an escape from unhappy emotions and worries. This includes the "cascading memory effect" where shortcomings are blamed on previous behaviour, including using porn and then finding the reason for this, going back further and so on.

I've noticed how porn can spoil random opportunities. I use it thinking I've got plenty of time to get jobs done, but then a friend calls up or an opportunity comes up and I realise I haven't got much time to do these and my list of jobs.

The whole concept of porn is about instant gratification that expectation distorts things like going out expecting to 'pull' or for other non-sexual things in life to happen instantly, like becoming fluent in a language overnight or a great singer. The porn mentality makes you give up because you expect that instant pleasure. Black and white."

Porn addicts find themselves in a vicious circle of behaviour. You know that porn isn't real, but porn-fuelled delusions subtly creep up on you anyway. Other people become objectified as sexual objects, and you can't help comparing your own sex life to the porn activities you spend so much time watching. The messages of porn can begin to merge with real life experience. Expectations of easy gratification do develop, along with disillusionment that your real life somehow doesn't stack up. An easy way to numb the disillusionment is more porn, with more instant gratification... and so it goes on.

Porn addiction pushes things out of perspective, and an important part of recovery is learning to regain healthy expectation and self-esteem. In recovery, you start to feel a little embarrassed that you swallowed the porn myth, but that's no bad thing. It's all part of facing up and moving on with your life.

Thanks RH, for your insights and support.