Life after a porn habit - Alex reflects
Alex kindly shares some more insights from his own recovery:
Once you have broken away from a porn habit or obsessional porn use, the challenge is to NOT judge yourself in any way either as good or bad but to allow a gradual calmness to replace past obsession, to not strive to fill the space left by no longer focusing attention on the internet, or on certain websites, or certain images, etc. Allow your focus to shift from thoughts or feelings of a sexual nature towards something new & different, try to kindle an interest in something else out in the world around you.
In other words a period of natural sexual healing seems to occur if it is allowed to. This appears to be a re-ordering of the relationship you have with yourself & thus how you feel about yourself; it is a natural process of reconnecting to your deeper self, of allowing your heart to open up to the world again. Thus there can and is life after having been a porn user or having had a porn habit, perhaps it's also a process of letting go, of moving forwards in life (where porn held you back, held your life back?), a process of maturity, even perhaps of growing up?!
I completely agree with all these observations. We talk about recovery as a process of emotionally maturing. This is unrelated to age; anyone of any generation can find themselves caught up in a porn habit. As Alex explains, emotional maturity begins by reconnecting with your deeper self - the values and aspirations that make up who you are. After a time of feeling locked into the hopeless cycle of addiction, choices and options become apparent again.
Thank you Alex for sharing your thoughts on this.
Porn Game Over is Jason's self-help plan for quitting the habit. Click here for a fresh approach to internet pornography addiction...
User login
Search
RSS Subscribe
Hi I've been reading this
Hi
I've been reading this site for a while and am getting to grips with my own addiction. I'm only beginning to experience what he talks about and it's a long road ahead but I'm already recognising the truth in these words. Thanks guys
Hi, I only can tell you
Hi,
I only can tell you how I feel, I can only talk from my own experience of letting go of my porn habit. Even now talking to you and sharing my thoughts I feel such alot of sadness because so many years were wasted stuck in such a miserable negative state of being. Now I have let go, I can even acknowledge my sadness about the past. I think there is alot of both Male Anger & Grief related to porn use. The letting go & the letting the feelings of sadness flow are positives as I move onwards and find healing happening by itself. Yes! its a long process but a good one I think, its a journey worth taking I can assure you from the bottom of my wounded heart!!
Alex.
I believe I have lost my wife
I believe I have lost my wife over porn? She has moved out because she feels I am addicted and that pron has caused a no sex relationship with me. I truly love her and want to stop and show her how much I love, want and need her as my wife. She has had a 1 1/2 year sexual relationship with an old boyfriend and blames me for her actions because of my lack of sex with her. I truly feel at fault and want my actions to be seen by her and save our marriage. Nothing is more important to me. What must I do to help me and hopefully my marriage?
There is no excuse for
There is no excuse for cheating!!!
But she is a smart woman. You, your hand and your computer should be happy together!!
I don't think there is
I don't think there is anything you can do to make her come back.
you have no idea what's like your husband not wanting to have sex with you. It ruins your self esteem, it makes you feel like a worthless person, it makes you feel like you're your husband's maid, cause your good enough to cook and clean but your not good for sex. I am not saying that she did the right thing with her ex. But I understand..I've been there. As a woman you need some reassuance. If your husband is not going to give it you, there are people that will. And you end up looking at your husband like he is a loser, but he would rather sit in front of the computer when somebody else is making his wife feel attractive. Its a very bad place to be, believe me!!!
There is not much you can do to make her love you again the way she used to.
This is my opinion as I've been in her shoes.
Dear Terry I'm too young to
Dear Terry
I'm too young to offer advice so I'll do the only thing I can do. I'll pray for you. If there is one thing I do know is that there is power in prayer. I also wish you the best.
Tui
Post new comment