I could be using my time better - RT's story

RT very kindly shares his feelings about how he relates to pornography. He hits the nails right on the head:

I have always liked porn, ever since I was lent some videos when I was 15,16 and what a thrill it was! At that age it's quite harmless, you're wondering what sex is all about etc and gave me a good education, if i'm honest, losing my Virginity wasn't a problem after watching them!

Anyway fast forward 7 years or so, I have been looking at the same sites looking at anything might interest me.

To me it is boredom, I read anything that interests me (newspapers, sports, music) ... and then I start creeping over to porn sites... or celeb sites. I think it's a habitual, when I was studying, I would have a "porn break" .. luckily it didnt interfere with my studies as I got a very high grade, of which i'm very proud. But now i'm still in that cycle but now looking for work, i'm bored of looking at job sites so I then creep over to the porn sites.... to be honest I do believe they just bore me now, but I still view them out of my own boredom. Nothing is new and nothing shocks me.

I like to say too, I have a girlfriend that i've been dating for the past 2.5 years, so it isn't through lack of sex or anything. Dunno if I have a high sex drive, or recently when a couple are comfortable with each other, sex diminishes or loses it's excitement.

I suppose i'm trying to summise my position and make sense of this porn I view..... After seeing this site tonight I read the blog section and with tips and advice. I particularly liked the DNS server idea, which i've signed up to and put a porn filter on. I think this will really help cut this viewing porn out.

Hopefully I will find a job, spend more time and immerse myself in activities, alleviate the boredom. When i'm on holiday or away from the computer for a long period, I really dont have the urge to view porn, doesnt even cross my mind.

I just feel that perhaps I do spend time on porn sites when i'm at home, and feel I should be using my time better.

Sorry if this is a bit disjointed, but I feel like this is a moment, and gathered all my thoughts together, and nip a potentially snowball situation in the bud.

Will power, and thank you for this site, which I will frequent to keep reminding me to steer clear of the dark side of the internet... which is probably 80% of it!

Cheers!

From my conversations with guys struggling with porn, the vast majority would agree that they are totally bored with the stuff. This is why the problem can seem so illogical and bizarrely frustrating.

We can invest so much time and effort into seeking out or collecting porn. For what? To flick through images in seconds, or fast-forward through most of a porn movie, right to the closing credits. Many guys experience this numbing, futile chase. "That was boring... let's find some more..."

The porn stopped being interesting a long time ago, but we still feel instinctively attached to this familiar routine that removes us from our reality for a while. In many ways, this marks the line between compulsive habit and healthy appetite or curiosity.

Plenty of readers will relate to your mention of celebrity sites too. For the guy who is trying to restrain his porn tendencies, celebrity eyecandy can become porn-lite. This is quite common, and should only be problematic if celebrity or glamour images lead back into irresistible porn territory ("It's just pictures of women...") or become a further object of compulsive viewing. During a period or recovery, the growing distance from the porn mindset will gradually alleviate this issue.

Replacement activities really are key to overcoming porn addiction. As you say, a holiday from the familiarity of the computer or day-to-day environment can prove just how little appeal pornography really has. But so often, we return from holiday and instinctively pick up where we left off. Building up other, long-term interests and priorities is an essential part of recovery.

Thank you RT, for your positivity and realistic, balanced observations. I wish you every success.