Anxiety and peer pressure leads to porn addiction - SB's story

When I was first addicted to porn I was 16. I was emotionally and physically abused throughout my childhood. I faced parent neglect and loneliness, which caused me to have low self-esteem. Then I started to have social anxiety disorders.

Then my teen years hit, so did my hormones. To escape my insanity I started going on the internet to surf porn, then it became so addictive. I could not stop until I was caught several times then the internet was cut. Then I was talked about in my family, name called with words like weirdo and pervert. I express my sexual feelings in a normal positive way because of not having any friends, being lonely and suffering from anxiety.

I ended up hanging out with a person who thought like me sexually. The idiom for it "you are who you hang out with" which was true. He had a porn addiction problem like me, he would figure ways to get me in adult shops. Then I would buy these magazines, and looked and looked until it caused me a lot of distress.

I saw some things so explicit that it just felt like being hit by lightning. Then I started to develop more anxiety, then my fear started to make me a more biased person toward people. I started to develop symptoms of O.C.D. That was just the beginning of my nightmares. Later I stopped hanging out with that so-called friend of mine. But I became a worrier, insecure about my sexuality, with no health insurance stuck on an island. One thing lead to another.

Thank you SB for this honest and perceptive account of your struggle with porn.

And you raise a really valid point about the influence of the people we hang out with. Peer pressure from others is a common factor in our early experiences of porn. Classmates, older brothers, the cool kids... porn becomes a currency for being accepted into the gang.

Bonding with other kids by sharing, swapping, buying and watching porn - it's no wonder that we form an intense fascination with the stuff. Sharing something forbidden is one way we strengthen social connections, especially as young boys or teenagers.

Even as adults, there's often a similar motivation behind sites that allow people to share their own porn movies or upload torrents. Through posted comments and viewer ratings, we are seeking a form of recognition and respect. There's a feeling that we're all in this together, sharing illicit and 'forbidden' files.

So yes, recognising this influence and pulling away from such pressures is a part of reversing the obsession with porn.

You highlight many other contributing factors, like loneliness, low self-esteem and craving a distraction from anxiety. As you face up to your relationship with porn with such clarity, I hope that it will help you in overcoming all these underlying causes.

Thank you again for sharing your story, and I wish you every success.