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I need to heal from porn addiction – LE’s story

2010 August 9
by Jason

I’ve masturbated to the point where I’ve caused blisters and scabs to form over areas of my penis and to the point where my hand is numb with pain.

I masturbate even when it hurts too and of late, this is a constant thing. You know when you cut yourself and a scab forms and after a couple of weeks it recedes – I’ve had the same scabs on my penis for almost 6 years . I haven’t given it enough time to heal because of my compulsive habit. I know, that’s disgusting right?  No wonder why I get heart-stopping, intensive waves of self-repulsion and futility on a daily basis.

So along with the mental pain of masturbation I feel the dull, uncomfortable sometimes crippling pain of my body telling me that I need to stop. read more…

As a straight man, why does gay porn turn me on? CN’s story

2010 August 5
by Jason

I’m 26 and have always thought of myself as being straight and never questioned it. I’ve always constantly been very turned on by girls in real life situations since I was about 9 and consider myself to be more red blooded than most guys I know. I get erections in public places by just looking at an attractive girl.

The problem is that I’ve been using porn for years now and decided I would check to see if I was aroused by gay porn. I’ve checked before and have been aroused but this time I was intensely turned on, more so than I can ever remember and could have ejaculated without touching myself. I have thought about it since and again I have become intensely aroused. It makes me feel really bad and filled with anxiety and I pray not to become aroused which I believe heightens it. Also I have read that plenty of straight guys become aroused by gay porn and the sexual act but this was solo and it is the fact I became probably more aroused than ever that really gets to me. read more…

My porn addiction almost ended my marriage – JT’s story

2010 July 31
by Jason

I am a 30 year old male with a loving wife who has been my partner for over 10 years and I have nearly destroyed on numerous occasions with my pornography addiction. The latest time almost ended our marriage which has caused me to look seriously at what I am doing and sort myself out. I never considered myself as having a problem before or that there was even such a condition as pornography addiction. This is the story of how I got here.

My first experience with pornography was as an 8 year old when a couple of friends and I found an explicit magazine on a beach whilst on holiday. I did not really understand it but there was something fascinating about it, my parents were fairly relaxed about it but I remember feeling an incredible guilt and a need to prove to them that I did not look at what was found.

In my early teens I started masturbating to ‘Page 3’ girls and lingerie catalogues I removed from relatives paper recycling I’d collected for my scout troop. My parents confronted me about this but I was unable to stop myself collecting more once my ‘stash’ was destroyed. It was never really spoken about again. This behaviour continued into my mid teens when I began to notice ‘top shelf’ magazines after one was found on a school trip. I would buy one or two a month sporadically and keep them. I would throw them away periodically, afraid of being found out but always replace them with more. I would plan what newsagent to use and what magazine to buy, I was fairly confident when buying and this seemed to contribute to the rush I felt. read more…

It feels like my fiance would rather watch porn than have sex with me – EB’s story

2010 July 29
by Jason

My fiancé and I have been together for about 2 years now. We just recently moved in together and I can’t seem to shake the feeling that he doesn’t really want me in a sexual way any more.

When we didn’t live together we met about 3 times a week, and even though we didn’t have sex every time (which I was ok with) I felt like he wanted me there. He took the initiative to have sex about 50% of the time.

Now the only times he takes any initiative to sex is when he has a morning boner. I can add that I am extremely tired in the mornings and not really in the mood right then, but I also know that that is the only time I’ll get sex without begging him for it later in the day.

Recently I discovered that when I’m off to work he watches a lot of porn and it really feels like he’d rather watch those “perfect” women than have sex with me. I’m incredibly hurt by this and I don’t know how I will bring this up with him without accusing him. read more…

Perspectives on pornography – Huffington Post

2010 July 27
by Jason

Tom Matlack  from The Good Men Project (not a Christian organisation, even if it sounds like one) talked to influential thinkers from all across America about pornography.

Here are just a couple of the quotes that struck a chord with me:

I’m much more concerned about porn and adult males, many of whom seem to use it as a substitute for real relationships. Substitution quickly becomes distance, and distance becomes an unbridgeable chasm–and the porn-obsessed masturbator develops an unhealthy view of sex and women.

Jesse Kornbluth, former AOL editor-in-chief

I’d hate to be a teenage boy inundated by porn–it just makes them feel inadequate and angry and dismissive of women and their desires

Steve Almond, author of Candy Freak

Just imagine the pressure inexperienced teens must feel, particularly those exposed to hardcore porn. They know it’s a fantasy, but how could they not be affected, consciously or otherwise, when their first time/first relationship finally arrives? As if there wasn’t enough pressure already (longer! stronger!), pornography simply adds one more layer of distortion (bite me! spank it!) and misinformation (hurts so good!) that impressionable teens don’t need.

Jeffrey Wallace, writer and father, Orange Country, California

The entire article makes for very good reading.

How much porn is healthy? SS’s story

2010 July 25
by Jason

Hi, I’m a female and fairly young, I’ve been depressed for awhile so I spent many hours online to pass the time… but lately I’ve been watching a lot of porn.

I’m not sure if it’s unhealthy, what amount is healthy? It doesn’t even turn me on anymore. I started out watching 10 minutes and now it’s like 45 minutes. I don’t see it as a problem since I’m single and need it! lol. but I’m really ashamed someone might find out. My biggest concern is whether I can stop watching porn once I get a boyfriend ….should I be worried?? read more…

Financial domination: why men get addicted

2010 July 23

Money disappearing down a holeJust recently, a couple of men have contacted me concerned about their addiction to ‘financial domination’. They were in an arrangement with a remote mistress or dominatrix to cater for her every whim, commanded daily by phone or instant messenger. In essence, she provides verbal abuse and her slaves reciprocate with expensive gifts and direct transfers of cash. There’s no sex or physical meeting on offer.

It’ll come as no surprise that there are hundreds of websites offering this service.

For the money slaves, this sounds like an unfathomably expensive hobby. I’ve read accounts from guys who struggle to support their families, yet feel compelled to hand over every dollar of their income and savings to the madam. In fact, the fantasy thrives on the threat of inevitable bankruptcy. These guys volunteer all of their personal information so that the dominatrix can apply pressure if the gifts dry up. She has a squad of other money slaves at her command, all willing to make blackmail calls to wives and employers as they scramble to please the mistress. Suffice to say, relationships and careers hang in the balance. read more…