What kids learn from porn, and how we can help
According to research, boys exposed to porn are more likely to:
- experience problems forming intimate relationships
- indulge in casual sex
- believe that aggressive or violent sex is the norm
- harass girls into emulating porn actresses
Dr Michael Flood, a sociologist based at the Australian Research Centre for Sex Health and Society, makes this observation about the influence of porn:
We know it is shaping sexual knowledge. Some people may think that is good. But porn is a very poor sex educator because it shows sex in unrealistic ways and fails to address intimacy, love, connection or romance. Often it is quite callous and hostile in its depictions of women.
It doesn’t mean that every young person is going out to rape somebody but it does increase the likelihood that will happen.
A worrying trend indeed. So what's the way forward? Penny Marshall from the Daily Mail seems to favour a moral clampdown.
The Mail writer portrays today's teenage boys as deluded, porn-saturated scumbags and teenage girls as vulnerable targets. She even found a girl who resents her parents' forward-thinking, liberal attitude. "I wish my parents would say I'm not allowed to be home alone with a boy" laments the girl, seemingly failing to appreciate that her parents consider her capable of deciding for herself.
By mixing genuinely concerning statistics (54% of boys found porn "really inspiring" in terms of sexual performance) with shock-horror irrelevancies (Googling 'sex pictures' returns 83 million results in less than one-tenth of a second), she presents the case for "making porn harder for kids to get at". Then she concedes that this horse has already bolted.
So yes, that article pressed many wrong buttons for me. I'm all for parents taking more interest in what their kids get up to online. Install filters, remove bedroom doors... but the solution lies in talking to kids and helping them to develop real-world appreciation of sex.
For a more enlightened approach to this issue, I'm a fan of delightfully frank Cindy Gallop:
So let's eschew moral panic and judgement. This is a call to talk about porn, and break down its unhealthy myths and ridiculous portrayals of sex. Educating young people about healthy sexual relationships is a priority now more than ever before.
Porn Game Over is Jason's self-help plan for quitting the habit. Click here for a fresh approach to internet pornography addiction...
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3 comments
WOW!! Awesome video clip,
WOW!! Awesome video clip, absolutely spot on brilliant stuff!! YES! we need more of this no bullshit plain speaking about the effects on porn on people, especially young people. 10 out of 10.
Hi, I think that the
Hi,
I think that the messages about sexuality that porn images & movies give out about how men & women should behave and appear are extremely confusing for young person. Especially if a young person is naive or inexperienced sexually then its easy to see why such people think they should aim to look or behave in certain predefined ways.
**For example:- porn images encourage young girls or even adult women to think that bigger breasts are what more than 95% of all men want or find attractive. But yet nobody ever seems to ask men that they find desirable because you may find the real answers quite surprising. And further more nobody ever talks about a) how painful having plastic surgery might be and b) nobody talks about the medical complications of such boob jobs i.e. they don't last forever either.
**Yet other issues caused by porn is that many young guys become anxious about penis size after having seen porn actors with genitals of extreme proportions. Were as in fact 6 inches for an average erect male penis is completely the normal. And nobody mentions that even if you did have a massive sized penis don't assume that means its problem free. It may even NOT necessarily be more pleasurable for his female partner, bigger penis might be more painful but nobody ever mentions this. So size is not as important as is made out to be. Sexual self confidence is not necessarily just about physical attributes.
I think a big part of the
I think a big part of the problem is that, as a society, we do a poor job of educating kids about sex. We don't have candid discussions in the home or in schools, and the discussions we do have are, on the whole, clinical and tinged with embarassment. Silence says a lot. If a child's parents and teachers are mum on sex, it sends the message that it's shameful and dirty and something to keep secret.
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