Perspectives on pornography - Huffington Post
Tom Matlack from The Good Men Project (not a Christian organisation, even if it sounds like one) talked to influential thinkers from all across America about pornography.
Here are just a couple of the quotes that struck a chord with me:
I'm much more concerned about porn and adult males, many of whom seem to use it as a substitute for real relationships. Substitution quickly becomes distance, and distance becomes an unbridgeable chasm--and the porn-obsessed masturbator develops an unhealthy view of sex and women.
Jesse Kornbluth, former AOL editor-in-chief
I'd hate to be a teenage boy inundated by porn--it just makes them feel inadequate and angry and dismissive of women and their desires
Steve Almond, author of Candy Freak
Just imagine the pressure inexperienced teens must feel, particularly those exposed to hardcore porn. They know it's a fantasy, but how could they not be affected, consciously or otherwise, when their first time/first relationship finally arrives? As if there wasn't enough pressure already (longer! stronger!), pornography simply adds one more layer of distortion (bite me! spank it!) and misinformation (hurts so good!) that impressionable teens don't need.
Jeffrey Wallace, writer and father, Orange Country, California
Porn Game Over is Jason's self-help plan for quitting the habit. Click here for a fresh approach to internet pornography addiction...
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10 comments
Yes! I have to agree with all
Yes! I have to agree with all these statements, I think the volume & the sheer level of porn saturation within our society has become unhealthy. YES! I'd also hate to be a teenager growing up now for the same reasons already given.
QTN: I some times wonder if we are creating a generation of porn obsessed totally impotent males, who have no real idea how to be intimate or relate appropriately with an actual girl or women.
**Teens who confuse porn with real life & goodness knows being a teenager is confusing enough to start with?.
** Porn is just sex in the Head (not with the lower part of your body ironically?), we get hooked on the "idea of sex" not the reality of the sexual experience.
QTN: What effect is easy access to online porn having on a whole generation of males & females. I don't think we will know the true answer for may be another 10 or 20 years? But I'm already worried & I think we are right to be concerned about this subject.
I am worried about the young
I am worried about the young age as well. I don't have kids yet, but approaching 30's so me and my husband are thinking about starting a family. I am concerned about different issues, but the amount and easy access of porn is one of them.
I have gotten texts from this guy that thinks that I am this 15 year old girl that his friend told him that is looking for a girlfriend. I keep telling this kid that he got the wrong number, but he doesn't believe me. He told me he is 14. The other night he sent me a text with a picture of his private part. I was shocked!!! The next day he asked me if I swallow!!! The day after that he asked me if I like it rough!!!
I am very shocked that a 14 year old boy has the confidence to talk about these things with somebody else. And he thinks that I am a 15 year old girl!!!
I mean what happenned to the innocent dating and kissing?!?! That's what we did when I was 15. I wanted boys to think that I was cute then , not that I swallow or not!!!
Hello F, I'm no prude but
Hello F,
I'm no prude but I can share your sense of anxiety about such things.
Quote: I am very shocked that a 14 year old boy has the confidence to talk about these things with somebody else. And he thinks that I am a 15 year old girl!!!
I mean what happenned to the innocent dating and kissing?!?! That’s what we did when I was 15. I wanted boys to think that I was cute then , not that I swallow or not!!!
Ans: YES! But this is porn speak!! the weird thing about this for me is where is the difference between fantasy (all be it a porn induced fantasy) and reality. It sounds like reality has been short circuited for porn speak fantasy.
My question is, also where does love, kindness, interest & gental initimacy feature in any of this? where does dating an other person of the opposite sex come into play because you'd like to get to know the inner person & personality, where does curiosity about soemone else come into this, where does respect come into any of this. ALL I hear is LUST & an arressive kind of narrisism, i.e. I want sex & I want it now give it to me?? its as if the humanity has gone out of the interaction. Its terribly blinkered & extremely one sided. Its very reductive & objectifying kind of behaviour, its quite sad really. Its also very naive & very ignorant too.
Well as a 16 year old boy I
Well as a 16 year old boy I can tell you that there is good reason to be alarmed. A typical day at school usually consists of perverted jokes, how best to look at porn with out your parents finding out, and how hot that girl is that just walked by. I hate this reality. It is because of this that I hate porn. That is why I believe that no amount of porn is good. Ive seen its effects in my friends, peers, and me. So those of you who say porn is OK in moderation. I very strongly disagree!
wow, I'm so impressed that
wow, I'm so impressed that you have gained such insight at such a young age. Stick to what you believe. You will find a partner who really appreciates it.
I read the full article and
I read the full article and couldn't help being reminded of my parents chastising my generation for playing videogames. And their parents chastising them for listening to Elvis. I thought our generation was too liberal to repeat this, but of course that's naive. Things change and that's an unsettling thing. We're left repeating our parents' hollow warnings of what's being stored up for '10-20 years time'.
In reality humans are great at adapting - it's why we're still here. Every day we get in unnatually fast moving vehicles, preserve memories with photos and speak to people thousands of miles away. Being born into this world we 'get it' but it would make no sense to people from 200 years ago.
And as for the 14 year old boy, when I was 12 my school took us to Canada where the boys took great pleasure in using their French skills to ask every local girl 'I would like to finger you'. That was way before the internet and even before the mags and videos were in circulation. Go figure!
I have a feeling that the next generation of teenagers will have considerably fewer problems with copious hardcore internet porn than we did.
Hello Nic, I can see &
Hello Nic,
I can see & understand the points you are making, & they are entirely valid comments. BUT that in & of itself DOES NOT VALIDATE other peoples legitimate worries & concerns.
I think we are right to have those worries & concerns. What you have failed to mention is that we are ALL subjected to a massive onslaught of porn & sexual imagery on a daily basis, on top of just vanilla advertising in the media & press. There is a globally omnipresent pornography industry, yet you fail to mention the very real power, & force, & impact this has on all of us. This IS something different than just a generational rebelliousness as per Elvis & Rock and Roll music, this is a step shift in psych & sexual bombardment of explicit imagery which does have the very real power to warp our ideas of what love intimacy & sexual relations is all about. You don't mention any of this though?
Sorry! That should have read
Sorry! That should have read DOES NOT IN-VALIDATE!! such fears & worries.
Well Nic..I like your "cool"
Well Nic..I like your "cool" attitude.
I wonder if you are going to still have this attitude when your 13 year old daughter gets texts from other boys her age, asking her if she likes rough or if she swallows..
Cool attitudes are one thing
Cool attitudes are one thing may be? But IMO Porn is far from being cool!!. Its a nasty global pandemic & there are no vaccines to be had, & the cure takes a very very long time in most cases & requires lots of hard work if you even reach that stage.
NOTE:
My main point based on my own experience is that viewing & consuming online porn tends to create compulsive, obsessional behavior or triggers obsessional behaviors in perfectly so called "normal people" when they previously didn't display such patterns.
There's absolutely nothing funny or cool about having a chronic porn habit I can assure you!!.
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