Aunt Sally: I'm addicted to porn - The Sunday Times advice column

by Jason on 20 February 2008
Jason's picture

I'm sure the issue of porn addiction is cropping up more in newspaper advice columns these days. On the whole, this can only be a very positive thing.

Last weekend, The Sunday Times featured this reply to a reader's porn predicament. Advice columnist Sally Brampton's words are frank and straight to the point:

Addictions may start slowly, but they are progressive disorders. That’s why you can’t look at porn casually, just as an alcoholic cannot have the occasional drink. Addiction is sometimes called a disease of “never enough” and is marked by escalating tolerance or a need for more and more of the substance or activity to get a high. An addict may be able to put down the habit for a month or even a year, but the minute they pick up again, they return to the same level of use. That’s why the condition needs active treatment and constant vigilance.

This is a single quote from a generally very good answer. We should always be careful with the word 'disease', but the concept of "never enough" is certainly accurate. In the case of recovering porn addicts, I would also dispute that a slip back into habit is necessarily a return to previous levels of addiction; adhering to an ongoing recovery plan can certainly prevent this. Again, Sally's final comment in the quote supports the need for an active, long-term plan.

So I'm probably just picking figs - it's a useful article, and it helps raise further awareness and understanding of the porn addiction problem.

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3 comments

chrispy's picture

hi ive been having problems

Submitted by chrispy on Fri, 07/03/2008 - 10:47

hi ive been having problems recently regarding this matter and by beloved girlfriend found out and has decided to finish with me im devistated as i love her so much. she has helped me through so much. and i feel shes just had enough of my garbage. i know she loves me. and i love her i want to stop so bad plz help me.....

Jason's picture

Hi Chrispy, For starters,

Submitted by Jason on Sat, 08/03/2008 - 12:43

Hi Chrispy,

For starters, I'd definitely suggest reading through some of my previous posts on facing up to a porn addiction problem.

http://www.quitpornaddiction.com/category/porn-addiction-help/quitting-s...

Of course, I can't try to guess your circumstances. It might be that you like looking at porn and your girlfriend takes exception to it; this can certainly cause major relationship headaches and needs to be discussed between you, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you have an addiction. Through these blog posts, I've highlighted some general criteria to help determine whether a compulsive porn habit has developed.

If it is time to start regaining control over an addiction, there are also plenty of tips for getting started. Please excuse the shameless plug, but my recovery guide is a comprehensive plan that includes advice for addicts and their partners.

http://www.quitpornaddiction.com/get-porn-addiction-help-now-ebook/

If you take this path, I wish you every success in your own personal development, and being able to salvage your relationship in the process. Be open and honest with her all the way now.

Best,
Jason

thehelper's picture

i struggled with this problem

Submitted by thehelper on Wed, 10/12/2008 - 05:07

i struggled with this problem as well what i suggest is downloading netdog free filter and making the password something impossible to remember and if you have a phone with internet access cut it off itll be hard for a few days but unlike tabbaco addictions these go away quickly and are even more easily agitated because unlike with drugs we all have a sex drive so i hope you take my advice and i hope you get better god bless

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