I need help...........

Submitted by roachmon95 on Sun, 22/01/2012 - 06:04
roachmon95's picture

Hi this is my first post here :)

im a 16 year old male that has indulged in online pornography since the age of 11. my addiction didnt really start becoming a problem until my freshman year in high school. due to my social situation at the time, I allowed myself to indulge in all types of pornography for comfort. I really feel porn has ruined my life( let me rephrase, I ruined my life my choosing to view porn). Im already to the point were i am seeking out edgy porn (including teen, incest, watersports, bondage, etc.) and i need to do something about my addiction. porn has defianately brought me more problems then it has pleasure. I dont get turned on anymore, I see all girls (some as young as twelve or thirteen) as sexual beings, i have hurt my family and friends, and I have brought shame upon myself. Im also battling with the fact that I may be a pedophile, which is wierd because i never thought about it until I started viewing teen porn on a consistent basis. The worst part about this whole thing is that im a christian and lead others in worship ounce a month at church.I cant describe to you how disgusted I feel every time I am behind the drums on stage. I feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world, and i feel like i deserve to die and burn in hell for what ive done. i obsses about how i let this all happen, I should have know it was gonna be nothing but trouble. Im writing this after having a four hour porn binge. I feel truly broken and i need help (iff theres even any hope for me to live a normal life from here on out).

help me please ›
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neale's picture

don't be too hard on

Submitted by neale on Sun, 22/01/2012 - 14:10

don't be too hard on yourself, you are young and have your whole life in front of you. i let it control my life for 10 years, i'm 29 now.

you can change. it's all about changing the way you look at porn. also, you've done well already because once you accept there's a problem you can then take steps to overcome it.

Joshua145's picture

I've been there

Submitted by Joshua145 on Tue, 24/01/2012 - 04:22

Much like you, I am a 16 year old male who has also had the same struggles. I am also a Christian and lead worship every week. I cannot describe how guilty I felt when I started writing on this website and I can imagine you feel the same way.

What you have to remember is to stop beating yourself up about it, yes you messed up but don't we all? Think about this, your not really a hypocrite, you have decided to do something to stop your addiction while hundreds of other teens like you and I are happily watching porn. What's in the past is over, you have not ruined your life, what matters now is that you try as hard as you can to beat the addiction.

This forum has really helped me as I'm sure it will help you. You should visit my old post, we are both in similar situations and I'm sure it will help http://www.quitpornaddiction.com/please-help-me-im-15 Also look at this, it really helps on knowing how to quit the addiction http://www.quitpornaddiction.com/30-day-war

If you have any questions or anything you want to talk about, please post and I will try to help. Best of luck, Josh

Anonymous's picture

hey josh, thanks for the

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 24/01/2012 - 04:36

hey josh,

thanks for the response. well i cant say i've done much to try and stop this addiction since i posted here considering i relapsed today. one of my biggest problems is i don't have a strategy for when temptation hits so i always end up giving in. im going to check out the links you sent me and see if i can get a plan going, and then ill just go from there.

thanks again,
josh (weird, similar stories same name lol)

Roachmon 95's picture

thanks for the response, i

Submitted by Roachmon 95 on Wed, 25/01/2012 - 04:04

thanks for the response, i relapsed yesterday but i gave your links a look and im gonna try to go at least thirty days without looking at it.

josh (similar stories same name lol)

Joshua145's picture

Hi, im glad i could help you

Submitted by Joshua145 on Fri, 27/01/2012 - 03:10

Hi, im glad i could help you in at least some way. The 30 days war post is really what has helped me conquer my addiction. Now, I am at 26 days without porn but now without a decent number of failures, so dont feel bad if you relapse, the important thing is that we pick ourselves back up and continue fighting. If I can do it, I'm sure that you can too!

That's interesting, same name similar stories lol.
Good luck Josh!

Anonymous's picture

relapsed hard last night. my

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 03/02/2012 - 00:04

relapsed hard last night.

my mom caught me though and actually witnessed the loads of asian teen porn i was looking at. she was shocked, and i feel horrible. though some came of this because know im getting a sex addiction therapist and im gonna see about joing a local support group. I thought i just let everybody know whats been up.

josh

Joshua145's picture

Hi Josh, I don't know how

Submitted by Joshua145 on Mon, 06/02/2012 - 05:07

Hi Josh, I don't know how good your relationship with your mom is but if you feel comfortable doing it, now that she knows, talk to her about it and it will help a lot. I wish I had had someone to talk to when I was going thought the same thing.

Also don't think about what happened, it's in the past now and can't be changed so don't waste your time feeling guilty over it. Instead focus on the future and on you successes, you can beat the addiction and I know you will :) even if you fail many times like I did we just have to get back up and keep fighting!

This quote helped me a lot: "Remember that guy that gave up? Neither does anybody else".

roachmon95's picture

2 weeks clean :) ive only

Submitted by roachmon95 on Wed, 15/02/2012 - 01:02

2 weeks clean :)

ive only gone this long ounce before this.

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