i dont know how to overcome this

Submitted by young single fa... on Tue, 20/09/2011 - 19:02
young single fat lonely and addicted to porn's picture

im 23, i have 3 vices, smoking chocolate and porn. I have never really had a boyfriend. I started masturbating when i was 10, i then got into a relationship with a much older man (via the internet) who i lost my virginity to2 years later, he introduced me to the BDSM lifestyle. I stopped seeing him when i was 17 and resorted to porn. im so fat now, i weigh 300 pounds/20 stone/135 kg, i feel so dirty for enjoying all the depravity i watch, i dont know what to do. so many things have happened in my life and the irony is they are my own fault but yet i feel so defeated, everyday i face another temptation, i want my life to be better, but i lack both strength and will power to do so.

‹ My Story, please help! I am a woman addicted to porn - J's story ›
  • Share this
Jason's picture

Small steps

Submitted by Jason on Thu, 22/09/2011 - 22:08

Hi ysflaap (hope that's ok?)

Welcome to the forum. I know... small steps... such cliche. But I speak to so many people who feel completely snowed under by their situation, bad feelings and all the habits and quick fixes they depend on. Overwhelmed, trapped, stuck.

You know that the porn is a distraction, a temporary escape into meeting unmet needs. It's been your route for some time now, like a reflex action. Sounds weird to describe porn as a comfort blanket but it really can be.

Is there anyone you can unpack this with and get support? I have no issues with masturbation, the BDSM lifestyle or porn... there's a lot of pleasure to be had there. But when things get out of control, and become an analgesic for bad feelings, it's no pleasure at all. You deserve better from life.

So suggested ways forward include talking and sharing (with a counsellor, a trusted friend, or online spaces such as this), getting clear on the specifics of exactly how you want life to be better (small steps, you know) and learning how to let negative self talk happen (because it will) without flattening you (because it doesn't have to). I hope this is helpful.

qtrave's picture

I understand.

Submitted by qtrave on Tue, 04/10/2011 - 06:51

I understand how you feel. I believe that one of your biggest issues is with your self image. I have had problems with that myself.

Smokes, chocolate, porn, the BDSM. You're hating yourself and resorting to desperation to make yourself feel better. And yet you only feel worse when you see what you do to yourself.

You've already taken the first step to changing yourself. You've realized that their is a problem, (harder than it sounds) and asked for help.

Your next issue is guilt. No matter how badly you may feel over what has happened in the past you can't change one bit of it. Look, you are responsible for what has happened. You did it to yourself. You know this. I am responsible for the same mistakes that have lead to my own addiction. I know this.

But how exactly does beating yourself up solve the problem?

I believe you can do this. I believe you are a better person than you give yourself credit for. You need to believe this as well.

http://www.quitpornaddiction.com/30-day-war

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
Drupal theme by Kiwi Themes.