Real Sex Does not Come from a Website – book review
Right from the title, Real Sex Does Not Come from a Website author Andrew Fox makes a persuasive case for directing our energies towards our partners instead of porn-fuelled fantasy. His concise and readable new book is a call for all married men to simply awaken to the sexual allure of their wives.
Acknowledging the damaging, habit-forming influence of porn, Fox employs classical and modern imagery that all men, married or not, will be able to relate to. Referencing ancient wisdom from the Song of Songs, his writing has a unique, poetic rhythm. I found it a little incongruous with the subject matter at first, but it soon becomes an immensely readable and almost hypnotic flow of prose.
Fox reflects on the universal impact of porn, and how modern men have yielded their sexuality like eunuchs of ancient times. Castrated by the message and influence of porn, so many men find themselves unable to satisfy or relish their real sexual relationships. Lobbyists predicted what porn would do to men; they were right about the warning but wrong about the outcome. Porn didn’t create hordes of savage rapists, but quite the opposite effect. It deluded our expectations and killed our real-life relationships.
Our wives are waiting for us to quit pornography and intimately reunite. So much of the exhilaration that we crave is available right between the sheets of our own bedrooms, if only we didn’t take it for granted and masturbate to computer screens.
As a lead pastor, Fox writes from a Christian perspective, but he communicates a living reality and not some static and stuffy moral code. His treatment is refreshingly upfront and pro-sex.
Discovering porn, we thought that control lay in our hands, but we’re now controlled by the ‘get in, get laid, get out’ fantasy that porn purveys. To quote from one of the final chapters:
An orgasm is the most reinforced image to a man. If you are associating this with your wife, her body, touch, kiss and caress, over time she will be your biggest turn on. But if you are open to endless streams of cyber-sex, your wife will become less meaningful to you. In fact, everyone will become less meaningful to you, even you.
You can find out more about the book here.
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I know how emotive and frustrating this whole issue is. It’s...
Hello,
Real Sex Does Not Come from a Website by Andrew Fox. Whilst I haven’t personally read this book the title speaks volumes to me and I have to agree with much that has been said. I would also tend to agree that the wide spread side effects of ongoing & pro-longer use of porn is that it would make men more impotent due to obsessive masturbation.
**However I think there is something very interesting from a psychological point of view related to some aspects of porn. Some types of porn images hook men & key men into certain archetypes. Most men are strongly drawn to classic archetypes such as “the nymph” or also called the maid, the virgin, the school girl etc. Men find this archetype almost irresistible and its a strong turn on for many of us. But the nymph is not the only archetype to be found in the explicit images within porn there are many archetypes (in fact the more one looks the more appear).
**Fantasy is a strong aspect of our sexual lives normally (without any involvement with porn) or sexual dreaming. Fantasy plays an important role in our psychic lives it is part of what I believe helps to keep us sane. However, porn tends to subvert our normal healthy fantasy lives and porn tends to exaggerate the importance of fantasy to an unhealthy degree, thus in the end we are in danger of placing more emphasis on our sexual fantasies than should or would be otherwise. Fantasy assumes a great degree of importance than it would otherwise.
**Fantasy role playing with your wife or girlfriend can only take place if the relationship is based within love & really deep trust. But such role play is a form of adult playing and is a valuable part of keeping a sexual relationship rich & varied etc.
**Real sex between two people who love each other is something special it is an expression of love and is the best form of intimacy, it is what helps maintain the bond of the relationship itself. Its what keeps couples together over a long time. Real sex is also an expression of potency were as porn is almost the polar opposite as far as I can see, porn destroys or degrades or lowers a persons sense of sexual potency and leaves you continuously empty & unsatisfied. When real sex is good is enriches your life and fills you up from the inside outwards, it enriches the deepest & highest aspects of the self and good sex leaves you feeling more loved, & more complete as a person. Using porn is almost guaranteed to be almost all the opposite things from really good sex with a loving partner.
I know what my husband is getting for christmas now. Thanks for the review.
HA! Sazzle, I giggled at the thought of someone reaching under the tree, picking out a shiny-wrapped package, and ripping it open to find this book. Certainly sends a powerful message.
Thanks for the review. Just got the book myself. Looking forward to reading it.