Porn addiction withdrawal symptoms, or brain chemistry out of whack

by Jason on 4 October 2009

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Inability to concentrate or focus. Boredom verging on depression. Agitation at the slightest thing. So many of us have experienced the inner battle to stay away from porn, and we'll be only too familiar with these horrible sensations.

But if you think that's bad, this Huffington Post article reveals just how monstrous porn withdrawal symptoms can be. To quote one guy:

On day three, I was literally shaking, and I began to connect the dots. Other symptoms: irritability, inability to focus ("staring at walls syndrome"), mood swings, headaches (sometimes quite strong), sense of pressure in my genitals, flashbacks, paranoia, self-defeating thinking, depression, hopelessness, and fear that I will never have sex because I've learned no social skills since diving into porn eight years ago as a teen.

Now I would say that it doesn't have to be that way. This is a cold-turkey experience, albeit an extreme one; an effective recovery plan includes simple techniques for managing cravings. If we opt for a little self-reprogramming and preparation, withdrawal symptoms are a lot more tolerable. But that comes later; we all need to attempt cold turkey to realise that it doesn't work.

Article author Marnia Robinson makes some interesting observations:

Purely and simply, these guys had thrown their brain chemistry out of whack. It might have happened to anyone -- and probably would have happened to me had I been male. Besides, women have vulnerable limbic brains, too.

The men's activities were certainly understandable, but changes in their brain's reward circuitry had nevertheless hijacked their free will. They were hooked.

As Burnham and Phelan explain in Mean Genes: From Sex to Money to Food, Taming Our Primal Instincts, our environment has changed, leaving our primitive, subconscious reward circuitry very vulnerable. It serves our genes before us, so when it perceives "novel mates" around, it can urge us to ignore our well-being...and keep on fertilizing. This is especially true if we aren't engaging in enough of life's more soothing rewards: friendly interaction and affectionate touch.

Extreme stimulation of the reward circuitry is risky. The danger isn't hairy palms or going blind. It's ending up on a high-speed treadmill, trying to stay ahead of withdrawal symptoms. Normal pleasures--the simple things our brains thrive on--gradually lose their capacity to delight.

In order to overcome the cravings and break down a porn habit, a renewed appreciation of less intense, more natural pleasures is called for. Robinson suggests that a sixty-day moratorium on porn-fuelled stimulation can go a long way to restoring our equilibrium.

The good news in this tale furnishes further evidence that reward circuitry overload was these guys' challenge. As I listened sympathetically, feeling helpless, some of them eventually worked out how to return their brains to balance. Slowly, they rebounded. Things that formerly turned them on, turned them on anew without sexual enhancement drugs. They lost their taste for extreme material. Their anxiety and depression eased. Random feelings of discouragement and remorse evaporated. Humor and optimism bloomed. They started flirting. In fact, they began to enjoy social interaction generally -- even if they withdrew into porn as shy teens.

9 comments

The problem as I understand it, is that when you use porn or find that you have become a porn obsessive, or have a porn compulsion ( porn dependency). We end up becoming rather phallo-centric meaning that a great deal of our energy & focus is on gaining yet more & more pleasure from using our genital equipment over & over again. Naively hoping that each time the intensity of that pleasure (orgasm) will be as good if not greater than before. But of course the reality of our bodies physiology means it doesn't work that way. The more we use porn i.e. more & more each day or more frequently & the more we obsessionally masturbate, this leads to a reduced experience of actual pleasure to the point were the climax itself has no pleasure remaining in it. In effect if you go on using porn a great deal and masturbating multiple times every day the end result is in fact impotency plain & simple.

**The obsession, or compulsion or addiction call it what you like is to the chemical hormonal rush (or hit) that porn causes. The mixture of fear & anxieties leading to excitement leading to arousal leading to climax leading on to a sense of inner emptiness & possibly guilt or depression or just feeling down or bad. The whole experience is a cycle that is being driven by or an attachment to the bodies hormone's associated with actual sex but of course when using porn the arousal is not part of a real or actual relationship with a flesh & blood partner. Thus the chemical hormonal rush is a triggered reaction to something that is itself misplaced or disconnected from its original purpose. And that's part of why porn is so problematic for some many people. It is the misplaced rush or hormones that becomes so repetitively attractive i.e. obsessive use of that rush experience.

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"...soon we hardly notice anymore the fleeting whispers of pleasure caused by leaves in autumn, or by the lingering glance of the right person, or by the promise of reward that will come after a long, difficult, and worthy task."

To me, this is one of the most tragic byproducts of porn addiction--the loss of presence to and pleasure from real, meaningful people, things and experiences. I witnessed this in my husband. He was either looking at porn, or he was in a weird, dissociated bubble that nothing on the outside could penetrate--it was like armor.

I'm glad publications like the Huffington Post are covering porn addiction in a serious way.

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This is a very very difficult subject for many people (mainly men of course, as its men in the majority of porn usage). Because porn is still such an emotive subject, because porn is now so wide spread and all pervasive. We are a porn drenched culture & society but that does not excuse the porn production companies & porn business's that make mega millions from what they do. It does NOT excuse both the men & women who have chosen to take part as porn models or actresses which whilst being exploited they are also exploiters themselves in a somewhat different way. It does not absolve us men from being self indulgent or from numbing out or for wantiing (needing) to escape our pain or bordom or distress.

YES! Porns effect is very sad, it can be really tradgic, it can be really heart braking to hear some of the stories I've read on this excellent website. But you know what its very important to have a website like this. Because sharing stories makes you realize your not alone, and because we try not to be judgmental most of the time here. I find more of a sense of forgiveness, compassion and optimism. My philosophy has become summed up by saying "Like the person Not the behaviour" the core person or personality is usually very lovable but the pattern of obsession etc is not so nice. I also feel its important to allow a person the possibility of real change no matter how long they have been using porn. We can choose to change if we really want to but non of us find change easy. Human beings by default find change difficult.

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Your right Marguax I agree with you. What you say is true sadly.

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Hi,

I had this nagging problem my entire adult life! I was watching porn since I had a 56K dial up connection on a text based internet system LOL I was only what...13?? Anyways, this went on for over 10 yrs! I couldn't believe it when I thought about it...at the time I thought Porn was harmless, but when I went away to Europe one summer a couple years back with buddies, I had no internet, or really no connection to the internet other than internet cafe's which obviously you can't beat it in public, and a room full of my guy friends which of course you get no time for that, and after 2 months without looking at porn I felt refreshed, I was better with women, I had more of an urge to actually meet real women to talk to and you know maybe lead to something more ie. something romantic or a fling...and I suddenly felt normal again

so I slipped back into the porn thing again when I got back, cause Canada is extremely boring during the winter, and now I want out....to my surpirse there are withdrawal symptons like I am giving up smokes, sweating, stomach pains, some tingly feelings, pictures of past "sessions" of "viewing" running through my mind. It's crazy....

although its not so much masterbating I feel guilty about, although its cut down a lot since the porn ended, its just not natural to sit in a room with a faint computer fan buzzing beating your meat to pictures or vids. I mean its just so wrong if u think about it, if a guy wanted to get laid in the 50s or pre porn days they went out and actually talked to girls and tried to "score"....its just pathetic in my opinion what most men are doing these days, porn is pathetic. I hate it, and I hope these symptoms go away.

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Hi Gordon,

I completely agree. It's interesting how a change in our circumstances can suddenly make the porn habit seem so distant. It's very encouraging too; it highlights how 'external' to our real selves the appeal of pornography is.

There certainly can be withdrawal symptoms, so give it time. It can sometimes take a few weeks for balance to be restored. At the moment, your brain wants to go shopping for porn to allay the bad feelings caused by... cutting out porn. It's a learnt reflex that needs to be broken down.

Rather than white-knuckling, remember to help yourself by finding replacement activities; things you used to enjoy, exercise, connecting with others. Keep reading this site and all the other great resources online.

It's a tough trip, but the symptoms will pass!

Jason

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Hey Jason,

Thanks for the support,
after about 2 weeks I feel better
it's amazing how mentally and spiritually damaging this stuff is
a healthy sex drive is key, however at the same time what many constitute as healthy
ie. beating it in front of a computer daily is unhealthy

good luck 2 all

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Hello Everyone. I want to say is porn addition is so powerful and has really taken me to the extreme. I would not wish these feelings on any human being. I can relate with all these comments and I cant say what I am experiencing is so much about the porn withdrawal or not but I expect it is. 20 plus years of steady use is crazy. Do yourself a huge favor and get help professionally and spiritually with Jesus Christ.

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God has helped through the terrible withdrawal of this horrible disease. Every night i would repeat this prayer and helped so much. Dear Lord,
You know the temptations that I am facing today. But your Word promises that I will not be tempted beyond what I can bear. I ask for your strength to stand up under the temptation whenever I encounter it. Your Word also tells me you will provide a way out of the temptation. Please, Lord, give me the wisdom to walk away when I am tempted, and the clarity to see the way out that you will provide. Thank you, God, that you are a faithful deliverer and that I can count on your help in my time of need.
Amen

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