My realisations for success – ER’s story

ER shared his porn addiction frustrations with us a few months ago, and now provides this inspirational update. He raises some extremely valid points – thank you ER!

30 Days Later – I’ve just had some wine and a couple of cigars to celebrate my most important ever New Year’s Reso being a month old. I can tell you it feels good and it’s not just the wine talking!

I blogged this site about 6 months ago under a different alias when my sex life and relationship with ex partner had gone downhill – not all related to online porn but it was a major factor. On 30th December last year I made a very overdue and conscious decision to stop locking myself away for hours on end on those marathon sessions followed by shameful ejaculation into an old envelope that’d it quickly flush down the toilet to avoid detection.

Now I don’t wish to generalise, but I’m sure everyone will agree that we all find the female form in various guises an irresistible attraction, which can be compulsive. As a youth I used to get hard-ons on the bus back from school just looking at office girls hopping on and off! All very natural I hear you say.

The trouble is not to blame yourself. The internet was not ever intended to be a public service, like say the BBC or even the Playboy Channel was. There is no censorship and there are no boundaries to perversion of any type. That does not make our habits ‘normal’ or even acceptable simply because there are 1000 other people doing it. And it’s here where I’m going to sound like a moralist but what I did is get hold of my conscience and really ask the question ‘does it make you happy and fulfilled in a meaningful way?’. ‘Of course not’ is the answer.

I was reading, with a mixture of empathy and disgust at your reader who drove 28 miles to reset his desktop connection simply to keep the porn flowing. I too have spent evenings that turned into nights and sometimes early mornings hunched over the keyboard in that classic sad, zombified way, as many say like being on drugs.

The fact I’ve learned is that ‘yes women excite me’ in all their glory, dressed as office girls or plain naked. Either way I will always be in some ways an addict. However the modern internet is like giving a child heroin. Of course you can simply log off – but can you? How many times have you said “just another ten minutes darling”? I thought so.

What I realised on Dec 30th last year was that I am bigger than what is basically an adolescent urge being amplified by the enormous power of the internet so I decided to stop and life has  never been better. I’ve even started dating again! All I can say is your wife or partner is a real life person not a JPEG, she will respond to you if you treat her well and will join together with you in the act of love-making. Images or video will ever do that and will leave you feeling that deep down empty feeling every time you finally shoot your load. A human being will only make you feel better, so don’t forget – you are a human being too; not just a part of some sad process you cannot stop, au contraire.

Related posts:

1. Why cold turkey doesn’t work – Jon’s story