Masturbation, myths and making changes - G's story

I'm a 25 year old, currently living in the states on my own, my family is elsewhere in the world and I have no relations here save for the colleagues at work who are twice my age and married.

My initial exposure to porn happened in my early teens. In those days it was pretty hard to come by material, seeing as you had to get it from someone else but over time I got my hands on some. Then it all went upwards in terms of content after I got the internet. The problem I suppose was ignorance... I always thought that masturbation was a function of the body that would be the same each time it was performed with no harmful consequences, so it went on for several years.

The effects of the addiction that were described in various other anonymous posts presented themselves over the years, but they were so gradual that I always believed that it was simply a character flaw or my own nature, so I simply accepted it without noticing it until 3 years ago, 2 physical effects came into light which I couldn't overlook. So I started to think that I just needed a short break, so I didn't do anything for a couple of days and no effect. At this point I was panicking, I was looking up all of the rumors that I was told which were written off by me as being silly, and most of them were false, but in the process I saw many sites saying that it was perfectly fine, good to do a couple of times a week so I started to decrease it so that I did it once a week eventually and there was some change, I had started to become less of a nervous wreck and began to calm down and get a hold of my mind again, I also began noticing other physical effects that caused extreme stress.

But the process begged the question, if there are these kinds of physical effects then what else is there? Until eventually I found this site... other places they're not specific enough or don't provide the details to convince you, or the source is unreliable. As a result I believe that the posts here provide me with a new way of looking at how to approach the issue of quitting, it's presented the effects, the reasoning and what a person stands to gain from quitting.

Recently I've been doing a lot of soul searching to learn more about myself and until today I believed that it was entirely a psychological problem, and that it is something that I have to look deeper into myself to resolve and then my need to see porn would simply disappear, which until now has resulted in many failed attempts to quit. I never even considered that I was addicted, because that sort of thing is for drugs alcohol and gambling. But thanks to the information that I've gained here I now have an understanding of what aspects of myself are a result of addiction and what is of my own will, and to tell you the truth it's a huge boost in terms of my outlook towards quitting.

So as a result I am writing this entry as a first step down that path and to give other my thanks for the eye opening information and experiences that they've posted, I finally have some hope at changing my life.

Also I was wondering if anyone could point me in the direction of the resources available to help me quit, I would really appreciate all the help that I can get.

Thank you G for sharing your experience, and I'm pleased that you are finding this site helpful and informative.

Generally speaking, masturbation is natural, healthy and nothing to be ashamed about. But when masturbation is part of a compulsive porn habit, yes things can get out of control. Physical or psychological side effects may surface, and cause a lot of anxiety in the process. All those silly rumours and myths about masturbation come back to haunt us, and as you have found, it is important to keep the whole issue in perspective. It's highly unlikely that we've done ourselves any permanent or serious damage, and we are perfectly capable of dealing with the problem.

I'm also very encouraged to hear that this site is getting the message out. The good reasons for quitting porn are many, but it's not about moral preaching or 'stopping this bad thing'. It's about breaking a habit that holds us back, building our self-esteem and relationships, getting more time to achieve things and ultimately, seeing through the 'fools gold' of porn addiction.

We can (and often do) debate whether this is a true 'addiction', but we all recognise the painful habit that curtails our daily living. And there's always an element of choice, every single time we opt to watch or download porn. Once we make this fundamental realisation, we can begin to really see the purpose that our habit tries to serve. We see opportunities for making different, lasting choices that serve us better. We get back in control.

For recovery resources, I'd like to recommend my own porn addiction recovery guide (of course!). Also, '7 Tools to Beat Addiction' by Stanton Peele and 'Freedom from Addiction' by Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell are much recommended books. All of these titles will give you a solid basis for developing your own successful strategy for breaking the habit.