Addiction and consequences – the knowing and the doing

There are risks associated with a compulsive porn habit. We might run into trouble at work after too many late nights and those irresistible little surfing sessions on the office laptop. We may find ourselves confronted by a horrified partner who accidentally walked in during a porn session. Ouch.

Of course, most addicts are fully aware of the risks, but the habit is too strong to resist. So when the worst does happen, what then? Discipline procedures, redundancy, social humiliation, destroyed relationships… will such harsh reality bring about the real need to change? Is this a ‘rock bottom’ turning point for the addict, or will the addiction take us to a new level of self-destruction? The answer is less obvious than you may think.

Psychotherapist Michael J. Formica considers these questions in this blog post.

Everyone’s bottom is different, but I’ve found it often comes when the motivation for avoidance (anxiety, depression, trauma, fear, etc.) is no longer more compelling than the consequences of continuing with the compulsion or addiction that is fed by that avoidance.

This is an excellent summary of the balance of behaviour and consequence. Ultimately, it’s not about the appeal of pornography. Our habits are driven by factors beyond the object of our addiction, and this is why porn addicts never get bored with the stuff. When these factors are explored and addressed, true recovery can begin.