celebrity photo sites set me off

Submitted by kirel on Tue, 09/11/2010 - 22:13

kirel's picture

i've been trying to get to grips with my addiction to porn for a long time now with the usual successes and failures. i spent some time reading the stories in the forum and could relate so much.

what do you guys feel about porn-lite? what i mean is this: whenever i lay off the porn for a week or two, i do get the good feelings. i'm not turning in at night with visions of people with unreal bodies doing unreal things to themselves and others. i feel nice and clean.

but when i'm online, i feel strong urges to go to gossip sites or crappy news sites and i'm not going there for the gossip. i sense that i'm going there to see photos of celebrity girls snapped by paparazzi topless on the beach or falling out of a nightclub with their skirts around their waists. it ain't porn, but i'm going for the titillation. it's porn-lite for me, and inevitably seems to lead to porn-real and i'm back at square one.

how do i avoid this happening? thanks, and nice site you have here.

I thought I was the only one doing that. I'd go look at pictures of breasts, then celebrity nudity, the sex scenes from mainstream movies like with Angelina Jolie, then more often than not I'd end up back at hardcore porn.

I wish it didn't work that way but it seems to for me. I'm not sure there's one answer as to how to avoid it but I do a lot better when I'm busy with things I enjoy, like working out, reading and watching movies with friends. The more I'm alone and not involved with groups and activities I enjoy the more tempting it is to start at breasts on a computer (it's just boobs, right?) and sadly end up at hardcore porn.

So maybe make a list of what you like to do for fun, for hobbies and get more involved with those.

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Hi Kirel,

Firstly, congratulations on managing to stay off porn for some time. Your post talks about relapsing back into hardcore material, but this shouldn't be considered to be 'back to square one'. Instead, think of recovery like a train journey. Every day you go further and further from 'square one'. When you slip up, it's like jumping on a train going back in the other direction. In other words, don't consider relapse to be going back to square one immediately. Instead, understand that this is part of the recovery process and all that's happened is that you're learning more about the nature of your habit.

So first thing - if you commit to change and slip up, simply reaffirm your commitment again, and carry on. You're still some way from square one!

Secondly, in Jason Dean's 'Porn Game Over', he talks about boundary behaviours. Your story is a great example of this. When we try to change our behaviour what we're often doing is trying to interrupt associations in our brain - triggers if you will. For some, going to a favourite porn site will be a big red trigger for a marathon porn session - this would apply to most people here I think. But what about gossip sites (as you mention) or watching the weather forecast with the pretty weather girl?

Try to categorise your triggers into three groups - safe (green), risky (yellow), off-limits (red). So for instance: visiting a news site (green), visiting a gossip site (yellow), visiting a porn site (red). Until you're fully in control, avoid all reds and yellows. Then, as you feel on top of things you can start to reintroduce yellows.

One final thought - be really conscious of the voice of your habit. In your post you say "I sense I'm going there to see...". Be conscious when your habit is driving your actions and you're not fully in agreement!

Good luck.

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I just came here through googling "addiction to celebrity porn" so guess you can tell what my problem is hehe. And I can totally relate. I always gravitate towards more freaky stuff in my desire to see some flesh. Good advice guys.

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thanks guys for the advice.

E - it's just boobs, right? yeh exactly man! that's what i tell myself. or "this isn't porn, this is news. it's natural and healthy to look at news, even news about Kim Kardashian and Angelina Jolie..." i noticed that even when i don't head down the porn road, i'm still checking back to the celebrity repeatedly for new photos or to look at Kim Kardashian again. it's like i have to get a little injection of something.

Nathan Baseley - hey thanks for the advice. i like the green and yellow idea, guess i need to make some kind of chart as a project ;) avoiding those yellows seems harder than avoiding the reds though, you know? it's like i don't make the link between celebrity photos and feeling like shit 4 hours later.

GH - join the club man!

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Hey Kirei,

You're welcome. 'Porn Game Over' is full of other practical advice that you will find useful.

I understand that avoiding yellows is the tough part. We know that the behaviour we want to change has been practiced and rehearsed over years. In your case you have repeatedly linked celebrity images/news/thoughts, with celebrity sex sites, with arousal and an emotional pay off. Now, when you see a celebrity pic in a magazine, your brain does the rest - thinking of course that this is what you want to do!

So the yellows are the clever bit and we need to find a way to disrupt the association. We can do this by avoidance so that over time the associations become weaker, but also with replacement behaviours. By learning what our individual triggers are, we can more easily spot them.

Good luck.

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Most celebrities turn me off more than anything!! My thing was always clocking women in shops or on the street, that was my trigger.

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Hi Kirel,

Ah how to avoid 'risky' activities... the eternal question :)

One useful technique is 'urge surfing', which we've touched on a few times in previous posts:
here and here for example.

In breaking unwanted habits, urge surfing is often used to manage direct urges to look at porn, smoke a cigarette, etc. But it can also be applied to borderline situations, like checking out 'porn-lite'. Just knowing that when you feel the urge to click to a celebrity site, you don't have to act on it!

Hope this helps!

Jason

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