There are risks associated with a compulsive porn habit. We might run into trouble at work after too many late nights and those irresistible little surfing sessions on the office laptop. We may find ourselves confronted by a horrified partner who accidentally walked in during a porn session. Ouch.

Of course, most addicts are fully aware of the risks, but the habit is too strong to resist. So when the worst does happen, what then? Discipline procedures, redundancy, social humiliation, destroyed relationships… will such harsh reality bring about the real need to change? Is this a ‘rock bottom’ turning point for the addict, or will the addiction take us to a new level of self-destruction? The answer is less obvious than you may think.

Psychotherapist Michael J. Formica considers these questions in this blog post.

Everyone’s bottom is different, but I’ve found it often comes when the motivation for avoidance (anxiety, depression, trauma, fear, etc.) is no longer more compelling than the consequences of continuing with the compulsion or addiction that is fed by that avoidance.

This is an excellent summary of the balance of behaviour and consequence. Ultimately, it’s not about the appeal of pornography. Our habits are driven by factors beyond the object of our addiction, and this is why porn addicts never get bored with the stuff. When these factors are explored and addressed, true recovery can begin.

I’m currently reading The War of Art, and it’s proving to be an enlightening journey. It’s not specifically about pornography or addiction, but the words of author Steven Pressfield are striking chords with me on every page.

It’s a straight-talking examination of resistance - the obstacles that we create for ourselves to stop us achieving, being creative and making positive, scary changes to our lives. I’m firmly of the opinion that for so many people, porn addiction is a form of procrastination. As much as we loathe the habit, it’s a comfort zone distraction from the more pressing urgencies of life. Steven Pressfield puts it like this:

“Sometimes resistance takes the form of sex, or an obsessive preoccupation with sex. Why sex? Because sex provides immediate and powerful gratification … resistance gets a big kick out of that. It knows it has distracted us with a cheap, easy fix and kept us from doing our work.”

As he explains, the same principle can be applied to shopping, masturbation, TV, alcohol and chocolate. These things aren’t always forms of hollow procrastination, of course, and that applies to watching porn too. The author suggests that it depends on the measure of hollowness you feel afterwards - that’s the clearest indicator. The more empty you feel, the more certain you can be that your true motivation was procrastination and resistance. You’re clinging to a predictable routine instead of creatively living.

For me, this is an important point. The impact of porn addiction is often much more subtle than the fall-out of divorce, redundancy, bankruptcy or spiralling depression. It’s the easy procrastination that will prevent you from learning something new, making another friend or starting that small business idea. Addiction hijacks these little things in life, the little things with potential to change the direction of your future.

It goes without saying that The War of Art is very much recommended.

Some regular readers will have noticed a few tweaks and changes to this site… hopefully everything is running smoothly again now

Firstly, we’ve moved over to a new domain name - quitpornaddiction.com. One of the main reasons for this change was Google search results. The webstats were showing a high number of visitors searching for ‘porn games’. To save their disappointment and wasted visits, the new domain name should hopefully give a clearer indication of what this site is about!

We have also tweaked the design a little to make the pages easier to read, and to speed up navigation. There’s some new content too (listen to a streaming audio interview here) and more on the way.

If you have any comments about this site or the topic of porn addiction, please do share them with me!

A warm welcome to the Porn Game Over blog!

I’m Jason McClain, and this is my porn addiction recovery site. This blog will enable me to post up my thoughts on the sensitive issue of pornography and sex addiction, and to discuss your ideas and comments. We’ll be sharing some personal anecdotes and stories about the difficult road of addiction recovery, along with advice, support and encouragement for anyone who’s facing up to porn issues in their own lives.

Considering the mind-boggling number of people who are worried about their porn habit and the effect on their lives, there’s a surprising lack of objective, quality advice in the media and online. The subject of porn addiction isn’t sexy and it doesn’t make the headlines like celebrity drug and drink excesses, but it’s a massive issue which deserves open debate and discussion.

Now it’s time to cut through the moralising, guilt-tripping and embarrassment associated with porn addiction and tell it like it is: a problem that absolutely anyone can fall into, and absolutely anyone can recover from!