30 Day War.

Submitted by qtrave on Wed, 10/08/2011 - 07:55

qtrave's picture

I have set a challenge. I must go thirty days without touching porn of any sort.
That is one entire month.

This will be my greatest challenge. To meet this challenge, I am declaring WAR on my addiction. I will be absolutely ruthless in this battle using every possible trick I can come up with. I will hunt down the source of this addiction within my own mind and I will murder it.

Sounds crazy? Sounds like I'm taking this too far? It is. I am.

Sounds impossible? To Hell with that.

Daily posts from the front lines will be issued. Anybody who wants to join my war is welcome. We fight a common foe.

i'll join you !

reply

yeah man!.. i like your fighting talk! go on, count me in. ive spent a bit too much time on the porn recently and bit worried about getting back into old ways. 30 day break would do me good right now. what tactics are you deploying seargant? :)

reply

Hi there

I need to go a month without porn. Can things get much improved after a month? Like not thinking about porn and cams all the time? God I hope so. Put me down for this challenge.

Ted

reply

GO FOR IT GUYS! I'm right here with you! Day 69 without any porn! I stopped having obsessive thoughts after a month but that first month is HELL! If I can make it, you all can! Sex urges won't go away but the need for porn did for me. I didn't eliminate masturbating, I don't do it to physical images though (aka porn). Decrease the frequency over time as well from your current normal pace. i.e cut it down to 2 times if you do it 3 times etc. after a week maybe and see what you can do after that. If you have a spouse or partner then you won't need to. It won't be as pleasurable as porn is at first but it may give you the chemical relief your body needs. This is just what worked for me. No guarantees but maybe you'll find it useful. My need now is to just avoid any and all temptations. It's a lot easier without the urges I used to have though. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT! The devil is always at the door.

reply

First rule of warfare: Know your enemy.

Where are you most vulnerable? I myself am most vulnerable on my computer. Specifically on the weekends when my roommate is working double shifts while I'm off work. House to myself and a high speed connection.

To resolve this, I am filling up my time with things outside of the house. Anything to get me out in public. Hiking, Mountain Biking, Larping, bowling, hell even aimless shopping. Physical exercise especially with a group or partner can be key. After working 8 hours if you go and work out for 3 more hours, you will likely be too tired for addiction. And it gets your mind focused on something else.

But then again, I am a computer geek. So if I need to spend several hours on my computer, I am going to a nearby coffee shop on my laptop. It's powerful enough for gaming. And if I sit where my screen can be seen, there can be no porn.

I am also vulnerable to browsing craigslist personals (very perverted sometimes) on my cell at work. Ergo, I have stopped taking my phone to work. Or simply cancel the internet option on the phone and save money as well.

Avoiding the enemy is not the only solution however. I will be giving daily reports from the front line to my fellow warriors on here. Should I lose a battle, you will be the first to know. It is sometimes easier also, to give advice to others rather than myself. So I will also browse the forum on here and offer any possible encouragement to those who post, every day. This will get my mind in the habit of thinking about avoiding porn.

I am also going to church every Sunday. Or Saturday (I hate to wake up early). God's word can only help. And for those who don't believe in God or dismiss the Christian faith talk? That's one hour you'll be out in public away from any possible temptation every single week.

If I MUST be on my home computer, I will have my curtains open and my blinds pulled up. A bit difficult to focus on addiction when you're worried about someone looking at you. (My computer is directly in front of my window. No concealment.)

I will not wallow in guilt. This has been a problem for me in the past. I have felt terrible about my weakness and addiction. Almost suicidal at times. This pushed me on to darker forms of porn as a self punishment or possibly a 'power trip' (way of making me feel better or possibly bringing others down to my level even if only mentally). Guilt does us no good. It holds us back. What's past is past. I take responsibility for my actions and work to change them. I don't sit about moaning and weeping over what has happened.

Every day without fail, I will review the quotations and ideas that hold special meaning for me. Reminding myself not only of my need to fight, but of the precepts and ideals that I have decided to build my life around.

We are not powerless. This is just another foe for us to defeat.

To simplify:

1. Know your enemy. Know yourself.

2. Get out in public. Impossible to feed addiction with little old ladies and kids watching.

3. Find ways to attack. Not just avoid.

4. Daily reports to all of us. Nobody fights alone.

5. Keep your mind and heart focused on why you fight, and how you can fight.

6. Seize inspiration wherever you find it. A moving quotation that speaks to your heart means the same whether it comes from Thomas Jefferson or Spongebob Squarepants.

7. Take responsibility and move on. Don't cry over your burning house, put out the fire.

Any more tricks or strategies will be posted on here. My war begins now.

reply

That's a fantastic post. I'm going to follow your advice. Thank you

reply

Days without porn: 1

Temptation was there. I overcame it using pure will as my weapon. The first day is simple. It will get much more difficult before it becomes easier.

This weekend will be my first true challenge in this war. The time to be most careful, is right after I wake up and right before I go to sleep. My mind will be fuzzed by sleep and I may slip.

I will set my coffee pot to automatically brew in the mornings right when I wake up and brew my hellishly strong brew. That will get me awake and sharp very quickly.

Evenings I will try to not be home until my roommate gets off work. And not stay up all night until I am exhausted.

reply

Days without porn: 2

Close call today. I slept in late. I spent the morning on my computer. I was sitting on my laptop reading a fanfic. (Non Porn.)
I began to get the old itch to start browsing for other things.

Due to being prepared, I was thinking clearly. I calmly recognized the threat for what it was. An attack by my foe.

I put the laptop down, and took a shower ('handling' the problem without feeding the addiction.) Sure I'm a guy in his 20s. I have needs occasionally. But what I did there was take the pressure off without feeding the addiction. Afterward, I went out to my gaming group which polished off the rest of the afternoon and most of the evening. Success. No porn for the second day. Had I given in, I would've missed my game and been feeding my addiction for hours.

My response was a parry or an outflanking maneuver. Sure, I was horny. That happens quite a lot when you're in your 20s. But with us addicts, that also leads directly into our addiction. So I handled one problem while completely distancing myself from the big problem.

Relieving a little bit of pressure WITHOUT PORN is just fine.

As long as you do not use porn, and do not let it control you. Take the edge off then go do something productive.

As soon as I got home tonight, I naturally flipped on the tv and picked up my computer. But before I do anything else, I'm logging on here to report in and get my mind properly focused. This way, I am prepared for any surprise attacks during the next couple of hours.

I invite anyone else who wants to: Post your own progress on here. Let's turn my war into OUR war.

reply

Qtrave, I love your fighting spirit and your sense of comradery. I think its a great idea for us to post in one place as it is so much easier to follow. So I guess I'll share my progress...

Days without porn: 8

The first few days were fine; however, today was definitely a struggle. I was very tempted this evening but decided to turn to this forum instead. I had been thinking about the sites I used to visit and I thought about the updates that would now be available. I was so tempted but I'm rejecting that temptation. Whats keeping me going is thinking about the amount of damage that porn did to me and how I don't want to feel that guilt and disgust that I will inevitably get after relapse. Furthermore, I am making sure that I am listening to that voice of reason in my head. It knows what is good for me and I am going to pay attention to that voice as opposed to the one which led to this situation in the first place. Ultimately, I am in control of my body and exactly what I do so I am refusing to allow myself to succumb to that temptation

Additionally, I am treating every day without porn as a celebration. It puts me in a much better mood to know that I am fighting my demons and succeeding. It makes me feel invincible and I love it!

reply

Days without porn: 3

To those who are ahead of me. Have withstood this longer than me:

Don't you dare let me catch up. Stay ahead.

I didn't make it to church today. My phone was dead when I woke up. Despite it being plugged in. (Phone is alarm clock.)

I spent my morning on my computer. But when temptation arose, I popped in one of my favorite movies that I hadn't seen in forever that I had really been wanting to watch again. I got so engrossed in that movie that I actually put away my computer just to pay better attention to the movie. Another outflanking maneuver.

Mid way through the movie, (3 hour long film) I decided to go out and spend time in public. Spent some time in a LARP with my friends. Finished out most of the evening afterward by shopping. So when I got home, I finished watching my movie and very shortly after it ended my roommate was home. Time management to minimize my time under attack.

For the short period when I was under fire, my willpower was sufficient to overcome it.

I'm at day 3 easily. Now it will get more difficult. My foe will attack with more force and cunning as my own weakness works against me. I will be ready. When temptation attacks I will already be focused on defeating it.

"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win." - Sun Tzu

reply

Things are defiantly getting harder. The enemy is trying to make me belittle all the hard work I have been putting in.

Physically, my enemy is very weak. I’ve done hell of a lot of exercise, and that has numbed down the physical side of the addiction. As time goes on I plan to exercise more and more, with the hope of always being one step ahead of the enemy.

I feel like the enemy is trying to de-motivate me to exercise. I now wake up with erections too..

All of their efforts are worthless, but I will still consider them a very active thread. To combat morning erections I will be exercising further. To prevent de-motivation I will be printing out exercising promotion posters. I will also be singing up to exercising forums to share my success on there.

I will continue to report from the front line! Good look commanders!

reply

So it is day9 of no porn. Something I should share is that I've been having quite a few nightmares about my addiction. It sounds quite silly really. I keep dreaming that I've watched porn and that i've had to go back to square one. I suppose its because I subconsciously think about it throughout the day. So, today, I tried to make an effort to think about porn much less although it was a quite a struggle.

In the afternoon, I was home alone and nearly gave in. I was very close but decided to withdraw from the situation before ruining everything I have worked towards. Realizing the closeness of the situation, I decided to install filters in my computer. More specifically, I installed K9 which has been working great so far. Although I know that the filter is not going to stop my addiction, its good to know that if I do cave in, the filter will hinder me and give me time to reevaluate my actions.

However, while testing K9, I did find out that it wasn't blocking a certain site. Luckily, I saw that the page was loading and exited out of the it before seeing anything and then adding it to the URL's which I wanted to ban. Other than that near slip, its a great product and has made this battle seem a tad bit easier.

reply

Hi qtrave nd soldiers !

i have also been victim of this porn for 6-7 yrs . my story is same as u all ... i been lately trying to beat this foe but is was hard for me alone... i mean 2 to max 6 days then i would give up ..

BUT now i have team ! i will report my tempatation , mood, behavious nd other stuff. its my first time i will b using internet to fight porn instead of looking at porn ;).

I m highly motivated after reading everybodys post especailly qtrave and jjchenango man qtrave should have been in army lol :D ...

Above all I will pray to God to save us from this foe nd give us power to fight it !

cheers everyone nice to see u all nd my 30 day no-porn starts now................

reply

So today was fairly easy to be honest. I think its mainly because yesterday went quite well as I was very happy about installing k9. My cravings were not as extreme as previous days and all in all, I didn't really have a desire to watch porn. Also, I found that today, I had a very positive attitude towards life. To be honest, I haven't felt as good as this for quite some time and I'm over the moon about that. Knowing the positive impact that a lack of porn has had so far keeps me motivated! I'm gonna keep on fighting!

reply

Days without porn: 4

Yes my report is late. My enemy attacked with renewed ferocity yesterday. I was up at 3am and I was all alone in the place. I had taken a nap earlier on and had awakened unable to sleep. The perfect opportunity to surrender right? WRONG!!

I withstood the attack. I did need to relieve some pressure however. Not just a defense however. I was able to push my enemy back farther. I was able to relieve stress without thinking of anything perverted. Considering how jaded toward porn I've become and some of the extreme things my mind has become polluted with, this is a sign of my foe weakening.

Today, (mid way through the 5th day) I am not viewing porn and I am not relieving the pressure. I will resist both. It is a sign that I am winning. I will report my victory once the day is finished.

Sounds a bit overconfident? Once you train will and discipline your mind you can do what previously, was thought impossible.

Just now I briefly thought of giving in. I logged in here and gave my report instead. Easier since we're all depending on each other for support.

A few quotes from my all time favorite general:

"The test of success is not what you do when you are on top.
Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."

"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory."

- George S. Patton

reply

I am proud to report that I did not view any porn today. Today was a slight struggle because my favorite porn site is usually updated on Wednesday so I was quite tempted to see what that update would entail. To make matters worse, I paid for my monthly membership not too long ago so my membership is still active for the rest of the month. So obviously, there were those voices saying " you've paid so you might as well get your money's worth" etc. However, I know I am better than that! I don't need porn. I don't ever want to go back to my life which was hooked on that crap. I'll keep fighting!

reply

Keep fighting bolderboulder, qtrave, and everyone else. You are at the most challenging time of recovery. Around Days 8-25 are the most difficult because your body is starving for the same levels of excitement that porn brings. Just make it through day 25 and you will conquer the mountain and it's a lot easier from there (at least that was my experience and I'm going on day 76 or so). It's so close for you! Just don't run into the wall. I know it's really heard but just keep fighting. Those were the most difficult days. I am convinced there is a one month hurdle that if passed, the urges go down substantially but not everyone is the same. I'm still fighting too and while it's a lot easier now than it was at day 15 I have to be wary and cautious. I've almost reached my 3 month recovery program's goal and that really isn't the end. The devil is always at the door just waiting for you to open it.

Fight on friends.

reply

It’s getting really difficult now. I still hate Porn than ever, but I know recognise even more than before that I used Masturbation and Porn to cover up and be cared for (release makes you ‘happy’). Now that I don’t have Porn to cover it up; it’s all been thrown at my face. Feeling lonely, worthless, and inadequate and lacking in confidence; I can understand why I needed Porn.

This doesn’t get said much, but I forgive myself. You heard correct; I forgive myself for watching Porn all those years. I forgive myself because I was desperate! I was desperate to feel loved and cared for, so I turned to the only way I knew I could gain some sort of pleasure in my life; masturbation. I did it because it was guaranteed to make me feel happy; even if it was only for that few seconds after release. If I couldn’t masturbate for whatever reason, I believe I would have moved to Alcoholism or Abusive Drug Use instead.

I can’t watch Porn anymore... I feel a lot of damage that has been done from Porn use. For some reason, I have nightmares of reaching release in Sex. The thought of it terrifies me! As in, absolutely terrifies me.... I think I need help. Professional help!
I’m not bothered about having a girlfriend at the moment. I’m bothered about fixing my life.

At the beginning of quitting Porn I was exercising lots. I felt I needed too. I don’t know if I still need to. All I know is that I need to fix myself. I want to become better. I want to better myself.

I need support. I don’t have any in real life. I need yours!

reply

hey guys I just arrived here but this touched me so much, an so true about my life too. I hate the porn but have literally just come off from looking at it most of today. wtf am I doing with my life.

BUT we are here and that proves we know there has to be a better life. can't expect to get cured in a hurry, got to be patient and strong. I'm right with you all

reply

Days without porn: 7

I have just survived a three day assault. Last time I failed (before the war) was around day 5 or 6. This battle was so difficult that I could not trust myself to be online at all.

But in the end, I stand victorious.

I have also cut back on masturbation. I have gone two days without this week. I will continue to push this back as well. It is a spy in my camp.

I managed to finally throw off this attack today at work. I summoned up my will and forced the images out of my mind. Listening to the right sort of music helped greatly.

Tomorrow is the dawn of a whole new week. I have pressed my enemy back the farthest he has been in months. The enemy had best not get comfortable however. I will continue to push forward until he has nowhere left to run. Then it will die.

For those of us (me included) who do not have a girlfriend and who sometimes despair of finding anyone... Would you want to?

I do not want to start a relationship until our enemy is crushed. It will only make things more difficult. And I could not in all honesty have a healthy relationship with a real woman until I change my life. And once we defeat our enemy think how strong and confident we will be then without this hanging over us.
But if you've met someone, don't give up on what you have just because it is difficult.

I have a new objective in mind as well. This month, my new computer will launch. It is ridiculously over powered. It is also, never going to touch porn. Evey part in that computer is fresh and new and clean. I will not let this computer be simply another weapon for the enemy.

We should all delete the word surrender from our dictionaries and from our minds. If someone asks us what "Give up" or "Surrender" or any such words mean we should not know. These words hold no meaning for us and are utterly useless.

If you feel surrounded and you see the enemy all around you, think of it this way:

You can attack in any direction, and they can't escape you this time.

"Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools."
- Napoleon Bonaparte"

reply

Still no porn. I was quite busy today and out of the house so I think that really helped. However, I was traveling quite a lot today and I had time to think about why I turned to porn in the first place. Like many, I believe my addiction relates to low self esteem. Having been bullied at school and not too successful on the relationship front during that time, I felt quite worthless and unwanted. So I turned to porn as a means to escape my own life. I think I admired porn stars for their looks and confidence. They exuded a sense of sexuality that I thought that I could never have. Also, they appeared completely comfortable in their perfect bodies and I envied that. However, since trying to give up porn, I am rediscovering my own sense of worth. I am starting to feel more confident in my skin and thus need porn less and less. I turned to porn to watch others display the confidence and sexual prowess that I wished I could have. But, the thing that is stopping me from having that is the same thing I've been turning to. I'm not going to turn to porn. I'll keep fighting!!!

reply

Surprise attack in the middle of the night. The sort of attack where you wake up to find a dark figure with a knife looming over you.

I was just now sitting on my computer reading a webcomic. I let my guard down.
Before I knew it I had seen something that set my mind racing down old paths. And this webcomic is rated PG mind you.

Before I knew what was happening I had a new tab open and was browsing for porn.
I realized what was happening just as I clicked on the first link. I stopped myself and closed the tab just as the page loaded. Damn. Close. Call.

I stopped for a moment reorganizing my mind and catching my breath. Then I logged in here to repair the crack in my armor.

It isn't enough for us to say we will not give up. It's not enough to simply try to fill our time with other things. We must plan for the worst to happen.

We must train ourselves to recognize the enemy in disguise. Our minds are polluted at the moment. That will clear with time but for now we must be constantly on guard.

I will redouble my efforts and strengthen my defenses. I will not lose this war.

"If ignorant both of your enemy and yourself, you are certain to be in peril."
- Sun Tzu

reply

Hi qtrave,

Good luck with your challenge. You can do it, we believe in you. Keep fighting, it is worth it at the end. Think about your futur without porn, much much better.

Ive gotta say something very important to you though. Dont play with fire. I am a porn addict myself, been for 10 years and thanks God, i am recovering. I used to spend countless hours on my computer watching movies and playing games. This addiction is deeply rooted around the computer, and i can say if i did not have a computer in my house and if i did not become a gaming addict i would have not become a porn addict as well. I can tell you, if you think you can win this battle without changing your life habits, youre fooling yourself. You will eventually fail, if not this week, next week, if not, next month. Its like for an alcoholic saying "i can hang out in bars 7 days a week i will not fall back in my addiction." This is playing with fire my friend. But again it comes down to how badly do you want to get rid of this addiction. If you want it bad enough, youve got to be willing to change your life as a hole and cut down on computer time. May be even get rid of it for a while...But again, what is more important to you, your computer or geting rid of porn. Im telling you this becose because ive fooled myself many times over. I thought i was strong and my ego keeped me on my computer many hours a day thinking i could control this urge for porn. But i eventually gave in. Ive tryed many times and failed again. The only moment i started to see real changes is when i decided to quick computer games and watching movies all together. Extreme and painfull but i was sick of myself and ready to do anything to win this battle. Please save yourself some painfull defeats and valuable time and really consider what im saying. Were humans after all... its a war like you say, but not against somebody else, but against ourselves. We are our biggest enemies and we cannot folled ours minds, they will us first. Its not enough to say i need to control it, we also need to get rid of porn and get ourselves away from temptation. Be a smart warrior, know your weaknesses and limits, do not think you are stronger then somebody else and make yourself a favor, flee from temptation.

peace, keep fighting.

reply

I caved today sadly.... I'd like to start my 30 day war today. starting this minute 3:30 08/19/2011. Thanks for your strength :) hopefully we can help eachother in this war qtrave. I am amazed at your strength and valor! good luck :) we can do it :)

reply

No Porn. I was slightly tempted to unblock my filter and look for porn today. The Porn Beast in my head was telling me that I had done well to not watch porn for several days thus its clear that I'm not an addict and so should reward myself. I think not!!! I am now starting to recognize that bitch even when its in disguise and I will not go down! She can sugar coat her shit all she wants but I will not be a victim. I'll keep fighting!!

reply

Weaknesses? Limitations? I do not understand. Those are only things to overcome and ruthlessly crush. Fleeing from battle is NOT the way of the warrior.

I am a geek. I build, repair, program, and game on computers. They are a part of my life. They are not all of my life. I also hike, rock climb, mountain bike, play football and fence. I am looking to start martial arts soon as well.
However, it would be easier for me to give up a finger than to give up my computers. Yes plural.

And I AM STRONGER THAN MY ADDICTION. We are all stronger. If you try to hide from any sort of temptation you delude yourself. The threat is in our minds. That is where it must be fought and defeated. Every. Single. Day.

However, I do want to thank you for your advice. Since listening to you, my victory is assured. Porn has been a deadly enemy for me. Several times in my war I have thought of letting go simply because it was hard. But now... I may print your post off and frame it on my wall.

Because there's nothing I love more than laughing in the face of someone who tells me "You can't."

"In every battle there comes a time when both sides consider themselves beaten, then he who continues the attack wins."
- Ulysses S. Grant

reply

Sorry if i made you feel like you couldnt do it... i was jusst saying that spending lots of time on the computer while on the recovery process is is a realy bad idea.

Peace

reply

Hii everyone ... its happy 2 c u all progressing .. keep up the good work .... i know U can do it ! for yourself even if not yourself then 4 ur beloved wife, gf, family or others. :)

now honestly i failed the very first day :( so i didn't sent my report. then i again continued and read all your comments and got motivated again like when i say someone at 10+days no porn i was like if they can do it so can i :) i fought with mind now its 3rd day. having little headache as i m fighting with my mind ... worse case is i am free all day long :( ... so i have to fight each nd every second .. but Thanks to GOD he is giving me the power to fight... honestly if i get to much temptation about that i start reciting God's praises nd remember him nd my temptation goes away :O :)

Anyways Goodluck everyone keep on pushing yourself ! we r counting on u . dont listen to people who r addicted to porn becoz they will only decrease your strength by saying u cant do it. Its natural .. nd stuff like that .. they will try to break u So if someone is trying to break your strength plz remember us or ur family or who ever u r doing this 4 . I know it wil only strenghten u ..

saying becoz just before writing this post I was about to open a **** site then i thought of God nd my famliy and ofcourse u all ... then my hands stop and came here to write my post ....

I stopped becoz i have promised myself , u and God that i wont do this... then howcome i m trying to break that promise just then I stopped nd look mates just after writing all this post my temptation is gone .........:)

ITS JUST A PLEASURE OF MINS AND SUFFERING OF LONG TIME .

God bless all take care everyone

reply

No porn and no real cravings to be honest.

reply

Bolder! and everyone else! Keep going! Just last another 14 days and you will be in a whole new place. That's 2 weeks! It will fly by in no time! By day 28 you will see a huge difference. The obsessions will go down! Just a little longer but not too much to go.

KEEP GOING!

reply

Days without porn: 9

Friday I went on a hike and meditated in the forest. Reconnected with some of the things that make me who I am. Things that are beyond my fight against the enemy. It has truly helped.

Saturday passed by barely noticed. I didn't even consider getting on to porn. It didn't even cross my mind. A wonderful thing indeed. No attacks by our foe. I think it may be growing afraid of me.

Now I am working on day 10. I am a third of the way to my goal. The next twenty days will be difficult. I must maintain my defenses and my focus.

Remember warriors. Early on in our war the enemy is not just waiting at the door, he is trying to kick it in and drag us out to defeat. Once we are secure in our defenses and have driven this addiction back, then it will be waiting for weakness on our part.

"If your attack is going really well, be ready for an ambush."
- Murphy's Laws of Warfare

reply

greetings everyone .. :)

today 1 strange thing happened , when i was going to grocery I noticed that i wasn't looking girls the way i used to look like damn she hot nd think bad in my mind about them. I just interacted with them normally as sisters and mothers. saying so becoz I have a gf now i consider everyother women as sisters and mothers.

And i also noticed that I m not getting boner without any reason which i used to when i watch porn before. :D ... u know how embarassing it is getting boner while walking on road hahahaahahaha :D

I m very happy with progress and more committed now... thanks again everyone 4 motivation keep up the good work nd God bless...

ps. Today I didn't thought about porn for a sec .. no temptation nothing happened today thanks to God.

But still I will b prepared if my enmey tries to attack me....

And qtrave U really find nice warfare quotes very motivation and also tells how the world works

signing out ....................:)

reply

Proud to report that there was no porn. Although my cravings have been quite infrequent, ever so often, I have thought of giving in. The beast is trying to make me remember "the good old times" but I won't give in ! I'll keep fighting.

reply

I'd like to join in, but what happens after day 30? I'm 27, and twice I've gone a whole year without pron or even masturbating, but resistance alone isn't enough for victory. What happens after day 30? In my experience, when you're addicted and meet a goal of abstinence, you "reward" yourself by caving in. qtrave, I make my living programming from home, so I know how hard it is to live without internet, but I'm starting to think it might be worthwhile. I think you know how to finish this sentence: "If your right EYE causes you to sin..."

reply

Days without porn: 11

Last night I came under assault. I had my laptop in my bedroom late at night all alone. Fortunately, I was prepared. It was the same sort of attack that was launched on day 8.
I learned from my mistake then and was ready when it happened again.

The attack continued all day today. I managed to withstand the attack and finally threw back the enemy this afternoon.

*chuckles* And every time I thought of giving up, I remembered that someone told me I couldn't do it. Motivation can come from spite sometimes.

"We must expect reverses, even defeats. They are sent to teach us wisdom and prudence, to call forth greater energies, and to prevent our falling into greater disasters."
- Robert E. Lee

reply

I initiated this War for those, like me, who have had difficulty even going one week without porn. However, I have been working on a plan to sustain our ground gained and to continue to push the enemy back completely. To begin, I would recommend reading the journal of jjchenango. He has the right idea. (http://www.quitpornaddiction.com/3-month-recovery-plan-and-beyond)

Resistance and pure defiance are buying us time. We must identify the source of the addiction in each of us. Why do we feel the need to constantly get on to porn rather than do something else? It's not simply because we're horny.

What we will need to do is overhaul our life. For some, that may mean giving up our computers or at least cutting back. I do not believe this to be the case with myself. This has been a general battle plan designed to get us all to day 30. However, no two of us are completely alike. Neither are our addictions alike.

Once the initial victory has been gained, we have forced the enemy from our shores as it were. What is needed next, is to attack the enemy where it lives.

MAINTAIN THE OFFENSIVE!!

You have reached Day 30? Reach Day 45 next. Or Day 60.
During this time, attempt to connect to every part of your life that does not involve spending massive time online. Find a new hobby. Go on a few dates.
This is different from Order #2. You're not simply looking to fill your time outside. You're looking to establish a new outlook on life.

Take the inner strength you have developed and place yourself in new situations.
We must change our personal identity from a person who is addicted to pornography to a different person entirely.

Focus on changing yourself into a positive role model. You know when you were a kid and wanted to be Superman or the like? You can be.

Sounds silly? It's not. You already know you can do what you once thought impossible. You already know you are stronger than you thought you were. Do not say "I will try." that is you preparing for defeat. You are telling yourself that you will fail but "Hey. At least I tried."

So now you need to build in your mind, the image of who you wish to be. Then, make changes to yourself over time until the your outer self reflects your inner self as much as possible.

For example, I see myself as both a Knight attempting to live up to an "impossible" code of honor, and currently, a General carrying out a war against an implacable foe.

Meditate on your chosen self daily. Handle situations like you wish you could. Do things you always wish you could. You know the phrase "Someday, I will..."
Day 30 is SOMEDAY.

To oversimplify:

1. Decide who or what you want to be.

2. Build the image of your new self up in your mind until you feel it is more true than your addicted self. If you take inspiration from a historical person, read everything you can on them. Meditate on your new self daily.

3. Throw yourself into new experiences. Do things you always wished you could. Think on how your new self would handle life. What choices would they make? How would they handle the current situation? Remember, you are strong enough to handle anything you come across.

"Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and, when summoned away, to leave without regret."
- Robert E. Lee

reply

As addicts, the two emotions that we feel most often are Depression and Guilt.
Read the posts on this site if you doubt.

Depression comes from fear. Fear of what may come and the belief that you are unable to control it. Your fear comes from guilt over your actions and a belief in your own weakness.

Fear can also keep us from making the necessary changes to defeat our addiction. Fear of change. Fear of commitment. Better the devil you know. Everyone wants to work with a safety net.

Fear is the most useless emotion. The only purpose it serves is to hold us back. To keep us from doing what we wish. It is quite frankly useless.

Guilt is the second most useless emotion. The only purpose it serves is to remind us of the mistakes we have made in the past. Once you have learned from your mistake, Guilt serves absolutely no purpose. Acknowledge responsibility, learn your lesson, move forward.

Once Fear and Guilt are overcome, your enemy is already beaten. You simply must continue to push forward.

reply

I didn’t post the other day because I was quite tired but I am happy to report that there was no porn. Something that I have been thinking about is my relationship with my girlfriend and subsequently, my relationship with porn. To cut a long story short, the relationship with my girlfriend had a turbulent start because she gave me a lot of reasons to not trust her. Because I already had a low self esteem, it really damaged me. It’s been a while since that whole situation but I haven’t been able to get over it. I know that she is sorry but I just can’t forgive her even 1 year later. The problem with that is that I use it as an excuse to condone my behavior. I justify it by thinking “I can keep watching porn because she was crappy to me before so I shouldn’t feel bad” etc. But I know, I really can’t keep thinking like that. Our relationship is at a standstill because I can’t move on and I let it linger over her head so I can keep doing what I know is wrong. Conclusively, I’ve decided to just let it go and completely forgive her and move past it. By doing so, I think that our relationship will vastly improve and my reliance on porn will slowly die. She is a fantastic person and I love her and I can’t let a silly mistake that was hugely influenced by others ruin our lives.

Sorry to bore you guys with my personal problems, but I really needed to get that off my chest.

reply

No Porn.

Today, I had quite a few cravings . The completely irrational part of me wants to see my favorite website- just to seethe previews for the latest updates (especially as my membership for the site is still active until a few days from now). So, the porn beast is basically saying that I should view the website material and just start abstinence again after my membership is over.

However, the rational part knows how awful of an idea that is. Today was like a constant battle but I am learning to recognize what is right and good for me. The battle is getting really hard but I am still fighting.

reply

Well done on resisting your cravings. But far more than that, you are understanding where your own weaknesses come from. It is one thing to say "I am addicted. I must change." It is far more difficult to attempt to see the weaknesses and flaws in your own life and mend them.

And none of us are bored. We're all on here to discuss our personal problems and vent the frustrations in our lives.

“One arrow alone can be easily broken but many arrows are indestructible.”
-Genghis Khan

reply

Days without porn: 12

Day 12 passed without remark. It was all too easy. Every time the enemy rose up I slapped it down. The attacks were not even worthy of mention.

I must not grow complacent however. If you put your head in the ground, you leave your ass exposed to attack. I will not lose this fight. It will NOT happen.

A quote on the dangers of drink. (or porn perhaps?)

"If unable to abstain from drinking, a man may get drunk three times a month; if he does it more than three times he is culpable; if he gets drunk twice a month it is better; if once a month, this is still more laudable; and if one does not drink at all what can be better? But where can I find such a man? If such a man were found he would be worthy of the highest esteem."
- Genghis Khan

reply

No Porn. I had a bit of an epiphany. By writing my journals each day, I started to feel a label being attached to me. The label of "ex porn addict". Although I am making progress and I feel amazing, I don't like that fact that in my head I'm thinking "Its Day18 of no porn etc" Its a constant reminder of who I was, a porn addict, not who I am. I don't know what to do

reply

qtrave, well done. I like how you made wrote it as a war, which is was it really is. Keep going, you're too far to quit now!

Tonight will be my second successful night. I haven't had many thoughts or looking at porn and I plan on limiting masturbation next week or so. I feel the outcome of this will very rewarding-and well worth it. I've already been seeing improvements in my life and I'm anxious to get it back. This is my seventh try, but I have a much better feeling it will be successful.

Good luck everyone. You can do it.

reply

*sighs* It finally happened.

I told you I would speak only truth and so I will.
I have suffered a defeat. I was overwhelmed tonight.

I have been fighting for the past two days. I thought I had repulsed the enemy finally.
I was wrong.

It was a crushing defeat.

However, if there is anything I am certain of after all this time clean it is this...

Almost is NOT good enough.
And this war is not over until I acquiesce.

reply

qtrave...just analyze what you did wrong. record it...avoid it again. get back on your feet. You can do it. Don't Give UP! Today is a new day.

boulder...You're only on Day 18 ok so don't feel discouraged about the ex-porn addict label. It hasn't even been the full 30 days yet. You are still fighting. I am still fighting and I'm on day 85 now. That reminder should be there right now telling you not to go back to porn. It's ultimately not who you are but it's there to remind you this "Never Again". You will feel better about yourself and the ex porn addict label will become nothing in a few more weeks but even on day 85 I am glad I am reminded of my porn addict days because it keeps me from going back and in reality, 18 days and 85 days are not that long in the grand scheme of things. They are major triumphs for us but once you pass that 30 hurdle the fight will get much easier and you will feel more confident and the reminder will not define you but simlpy tell you that you don't ever again want to go back to porn.

reply

Hi guys

so its day 9 i m getting urge for porn honestly .. when ever i open my laptop my mind start to think about porn but i quickly change my mind and dont thing about that because as i think about it , it makes it harder for me to control saying from past experience..

i m happy with my progress and will keep doing the right thing with God's grace..

and bolderboudler mate dont worry u aren't making us bore u r just sharing ur thoughts with us nd i m happy u forgive her ... and for ''ex porn addict'' as the jjchenango said it reminds u what u were or what u dont want to b again ... it boost ur motivation when u write day __ no porn ur not just writing ur, telling urself that u r in control of youself if u say no porn that means no porn ! hope that helps :) nd day 18 thats v.good mate keep on pushing :D

and now sadly qtrave mate i was sad to hear u got defeated but at the same time i would say dont lose hope and your confidence what happened just leave it dont think about it. u must got a lesson from this like nohinkt to t about porn divert your mind quickly, or any other.. becoz leaving porn is all mind game its our very own mind whom we have to fight with ! so i wish u a very guduck again and would b happy to c to try this 30 day challenge again ...

and jjchenango i will read your post next time i log in. http://www.quitpornaddiction.com/3-month-recovery-plan-and-beyond

man its quite impressive that u r on day 85 :) is that no porn and masturbation or just no porn just asking ?

so jjchenango mate how u fell like do u get porn cravings , stuff like that. Any word for us ? to keep us motivated.. thanks :)

ok guys God bless everyone remember u all r doing great jobs so keep doing it I proud of u all ....

Take care

reply

I have been reviewing my campaign. Where I went wrong on Day 15. Where I went right before. I believe that my success caused me to lower my guard. This was foolish and on Day 15 it cost me the battle.

I have come to the conclusion that I must correct this mistake. This time when I reach Day 15 I will not falter.

To ensure that I reach the point where I will be able to correct my mistake, I must take drastic action.

I am not going to log on to the internet for the next 14 days. Not for any reason. While I do not believe that Gladiatoranc was correct in saying that I should give up all of my computer hobbies. However, this early on, spending much time online is dangerous.

This will ensure that I reach the same point I did when I was defeated. This time, I will be ready for the attack. I will succeed. I will win this War at all costs. I will reach Day 30 and begin my life anew. This addiction will be crushed beneath my boot heels.

I will report in September 10th with my success. Until then, I must face this demon without all of you.

"Hard Tasks need Hard Ways"
- Fremen Proverb

reply

Just keep fighting and youll get the results you want in life. Been honest and bringing failure into the light is one of the best tool we have to fight porn. Since this only takes place in the privacy where no one sees us. Stay strong, its worth the fight.

See you Sept 10th.

reply

Hi qtrave

So i started with you but i failed on 9or 10th day and remaind like that. After time i found Gladiatoranc doing no porn/masturbation i got motivated seeing him and again lifted my self and got back to track. today i m on day 5 :) fully confident this time all measures are taken to avoid porn/masturbation.

Bro i would b more happy to see you bring us your reports dont feel guilty even if you failed in these days please .. we all fail but that not the ultimate fail u can give another shot ! I know u can do it !!!

Godbless

reply

I am also in this war.

reply

Post new comment

Drupal theme by Kiwi Themes.