Pornography now illegal in Ukraine, unless it’s “medicinal”

2009 July 3
tags: ,
by Jason

No porn allowed symbolUkrainians with a penchant for porn now risk fines and imprisonment for up to three years. In the last few days, President Viktor Yushchenko signed a law to that effect, much to the dismay of human rights activists and members of the artistic community.

The draft of the law was prepared by the Ukrainian government and was passed by the Ukrainian parliament, the Supreme Rada, on June 11.

Right now, I know little about the political and social motivations for such swift legislative action. Could a rise in porn addiction be a factor? It clearly smacks of nanny state prohibition, and I wonder just how it will be enforced and who might be targeted.

Intriguingly, the new law includes a caveat: pornography can be kept “for medicinal purposes”. I’m assuming were talking about ‘motivational material’ for sperm donors. Or perhaps the Ukrainian authorities have discovered some other medicinal benefit of porn.

If anyone knows more about this story, please do let me know!

Husband’s porn addiction – can we get through this? MI’s story

2009 July 1
by Jason

I’m not a porn addict, but I’m married to one.  I’ve been with my husband for my entire adult life- 14 years- I became aware of his addiction early on, but had no idea what I was getting into. I was notified by his college roomate- about a year and a half in, that my husband/then boyfriend, was calling phone sex lines from his home- his roomates discovered this when they got a 500.00 phone bill. At the time, I was thoroughly disgusted and ready to leave, but he explained that he’d used it as a grief coping mechanism (he’d recently lost a sister)- so I bought it.

Things were fine (seemingly) for the next few years, we got engaged, moved in together, I scoured the monthly phone bills, and all seemed clear.  Then, I started noticing unknown numbers on the phone bill, but they were all residential- I asked him about these numbers, and he said that it had to do w/playing video games online…at the time I didn’t know that this was b.s. so again, I let it go, but this time had a nagging suspicion that something was going on.  I caught him watching porn a few times on the computer, but didn’t think THAT much of it, all of my friends said it was no big deal, so I figured I could live with it- although I asked him to stop.

Just before our wedding, I saw a chat on his computer screen- all that was left was a woman’s screen name and the words “night sexy” typed to my husband.  I confronted him and he told me that he had been chatting, but it was nothing sexual- I don’t remember exactly how, but he admitted to talking to her on the phone- I hit redial on the phone, and it was the number that had appeared on our bill for years- the ‘video game’ number.  A woman answered, and I asked her if she’d been chatting w/my fiancee- she said yes, but told me that it was not sexual, just two lonely people conversing.  I thought for weeks about calling the wedding off, but we decided to work through it.  We went to counseling, but he didn’t like the therapist, so (stupidly) we quit going and thought we could work it out ourselves.  At the time, I wondered what I couldn’t give him that was driving him to do this…those thoughts faded quickly. read more…

Don’t let porn addiction dictate where you surf

2009 June 29

It’s easy to become blasé about the risks of storing hardcore porn images on our computers. A porn habit often means that vast quantities of explicit images and videos are collected on harddrives; any concerns about being rumbled are overridden by the compulsive cravings to gather more of the stuff.

And if you’ll excuse the pun, porn collectors become hardened to standard hardcore fare. To maintain the buzz of our habit, we might find ourselves seeking out more extreme and fetishistic material. I’ve spoken to guys who found themselves stimulated by bizarre and outlandish images that they would never have previously felt attracted to. For a small minority of guys, this appetite might lead them into illegal territories.

I’ve just been forwarded this article (thanks Alex!) which highlights the risks of being stumbled upon by computer repair technicians, work colleagues, employers and family members. It’s still early days for the the Dangerous Pictures section of the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act, but there are indicators that successful prosecutions are on the increase.

To quote the article:

Whilst in theory this should only be of concern to individuals who habitually surf in areas where they ought not, readers should remember that many porn sites will download all manner of images, sometimes going well beyond the matter originally sought.

Porn obsessed guys lose count of websites visited and files downloaded over countless hours spent in the online trance. But in the face of police and judiciary, would porn addiction present any form of defence? I very much doubt it.

Porn awareness for our kids – what tobacco can teach us

2009 June 28
by Jason

Greg Barrett’s Huffington Post article Like Big Tobacco, Big Porn Peddles Poison to Children makes interesting reading.

The writer summarises the ongoing debate about the similarities between porn addiction and smoking, and the case for censorship legislation. We are reminded of just how much hardcore porn is available on the web, and that lots of people, including our wide-eyed children, are lapping it up. Barrett gets a little carried away with the shocking revelation of it all, but that’s ok; if one parent is reminded that they really ought to take more notice of what their kids get up to online, this journalistic treatment is justified.

Barrett picks up on Hoover Institution fellow Mary Eberstadt’s recent comparison of the addictive qualities of porn and tobacco. There are indeed some surface similarities, especially in terms of the common justification of “everybody does it”. But Eberstadt’s report highlights some of the critical differences too, predicting that the prevalence of porn will become a greater issue of social and political concern. Logically, some form of public health campaign may be beneficial, just like raising awareness of the hazards of smoking. I don’t interpret Eberstadt’s report as a direct call for censorship. read more…

Porn and objectification – by Alex

2009 June 26
by Jason

We are surrounded and swamped by sexual imagery. So-called raunch culture and sex sells marketing has infiltrated the mainstream. And either we laugh at this (often with embarrassment) or just nod in knowing agreement. Either way, we are affected by the use of sexuality to sell more products.

Because of this, I believe that more people than ever before are using porn in the mistaken belief that it carries no negative consequences.

Why does porn have such a negative and potentially corrosive influence upon us?

First of all porn objectifies women and men. A person is reduced down to an impersonal, sexual object by medium of porn and this is passed on to the viewer. Porn models and actors are shown devoid of their humanity, devoid of their unique personality. They are stripped quite literally and degraded in the process of creating porn.

Here is another reason (and perhaps a controversial one) why using porn is potentially so damaging. It’s the flip side of objectifying porn models for our sexual gratification. I suggest that we dehumanize ourselves by this same process. We end up degrading ourselves in the same moment that we objectify others.

In order to objectify another person we must split off a part of our humanity. This splitting process occurs inside us, within our psyche (within the emotional body-mind).  This splitting off diminishes our full humanity. We separate off part of who we are. We become a divided self through this process of objectification.  This can have a very deep and lasting impact on our sense of self and our well being. It can impact our mental and emotional health; even on our very sanity perhaps.

The end result of this objectification process is that we only hurt ourselves by using porn. By objectifying others we objectify ourselves, inflicting upon ourselves the pain of inner conflict and betrayal. To find the undivided self again requires a healing process to take place, and this healing process can only succeed when we stop objectifying others.

Am I enabling his porn addiction by not leaving? – SO’s story

2009 June 25
by Jason

Hello. I’m writing about my boyfriend/Fiance of almost 4 years. He watches porn.

I know for a fact that during his past relationships he has received oral sex from transsexuals while on trips, and on a few other occasions. Once during our relationship he travelled to Europe to meet with transsexuals. He claimed that nothing happened, but I know for a fact he brought condoms with him in his luggage (I saw them).

He still watches transsexual porn, although he has promised me 15 times now that he will stop and that while he enjoys an “aspect” of transsexuals it’s not what he wants for his life. When we do have sex it’s great-decent, however it happens maybe once a week and we’ve gone as long as 6 weeks without having sex in the past for no real reasons. He of course makes excuses, he’s tired, feels sick, is stressed.

He is 35 years old and has a very successful and stressful professional life. I’ve threatened to leave him in the past multiple times if he doesn’t change, and he will change his lifestyle for a few days, but he always returns to watching tranny porn. I’ve even banned all porn for a while but he claimed I was “not letting him just be a guy” so then I just made him promise that there would be no tranny porn.

I also might add that this is the second relationship that has fallen apart due to his porn issues. He is an amazing man much of the time, however with him I feel ugly and unattractive. I feel like I can’t trust him not to look at transsexual porn and that he’s choosing it over us (I have a 6 year old son). read more…

“The true problem with a porn addiction: it gets in the way of living a real life” – M’s story

2009 June 22
by Jason

Hi folks.  This is a great forum and I appreciate the genuine feel it resonates.  This post is directed to the men out there who might be able to relate to my experience.  My heart goes out to the women out there who have suffered at the hand of this bizarre phenomenon.

Here goes:
I am 35 years old, currently single, I make my living programing for a web-based application, and I work at home.  Basically this is the “perfect storm” for an internet porn habit.  I have no one but myself to answer to and I am free to indulge in my habit whenever I please.  I have had a steady diet of internet porn at my disposal for the last 10 years and now I am at a point in my life where I have made up my mind to veer away from this habit to make room for other things that this world has to offer.

For starters, I want to say that I do not believe that porn is necessarily a great sin.  Provided that the source is not exploitive or harmful to those involved, I see no harm in the worship of the female (or male) body, as well as the act of sex.  I feel that I maintain a healthy attitude toward women and even though I may objectify them sexually, I continue to see women as complete beings, wonderful and beautiful in their entirety.  I also believe that porn can be a healthy and safe way to regulate sexual urges, in moderation of course. read more…